Porn Star Lisa Ann Looks At NBA Draft Boards To Find Next ‘Conquests’

02.14.15 4 years ago 16 Comments

Research tells us that the recently retired Lisa Ann is one of the most legendary performers in adult film history. And though it goes without saying that professional basketball players seldom struggle to find physical and emotional forms of love, it also does that they indulge in a little erotica from time-to-time, too. So it shouldn’t be surprising that Lisa Ann, a noted hoops fan and host on Sirius XM Fantasy Sports radio, has enjoyed a tryst or two (or three, or four, or five, or six…) with NBA players. But that doesn’t make the 42 year-old’s anecdotes of life on the road with the hardwood’s best any less entertaining.

GQ’s Myles Brown recently talked with Lisa Ann in advance of the 499- adult film veteran attending her first NBA All-Star Weekend. Below are some notable exchanges from an absolutely must-read interview for fans of all kinds:

Do you spend more time with NBA players than other athletes?
I think it’s probably NBA because they have a longer season and they’re traveling more. Football is just seventeen solid weeks. They’re not out as much.

Is that just convenience or preference?
It’s convenience. But these are also the most fit specimens in the world. When I see them naked, it’s unbelievable. I just take mental pictures. It motivates me because I want to be in competition with them.

You ever feel players are trying to impress you?
The younger guys can usually go multiple times. The first time will be short because they’re so excited. So I just get that one out of the way. Then we’ll hang out a little bit. Watch some TV, play some video games and then we’ll go at it again. It’s like a sport for both of us at that point.

Any Knicks?
Maybe. There may have been a Knick or two. I keep it private to protect them and respect their lives. I don’t want to jeopardize that.

[…]

Sometimes it’s just a sexual checklist. I’m watching the NBA draft and I’m like, “Okay. I want to be with the top three draft picks this year.” It’s just a conquest of mine. I’m just doing it for s***s and giggles.

Take that, football! We always knew our game – not to mention professional league – was far, far superior to yours. Intel like this only further cements that fact.

Someone alert guys like Jahlil Okafor, DeAngelo Russell, and Karl Towns  to Lisa Ann’s mindset, too. Talk about a crash course in the NBA lifestyle.

Our favorite story from the GQ piece, though, is undoubtedly this one:

Any uncomfortable situations?
I don’t mess with multiple guys on a team at the same time. I don’t want to be in any locker room talk and I want them to feel special. There can be overnight trades where three of your dudes are on the same team. Then you just lay back for a period of time and it becomes texting only.

There was a scenario where I was in Toronto to meet with a player for the first time. I was at the game and there were three players from Orlando that I had to put on the back burner because there was a trade where one was already there and two more came in. So there was a moment where I was walking by half court going to talk to him at the sideline and as I’m talking to him, the other three are standing behind him.

My worlds just kind of collided. The three of them don’t know about each other yet. They noticed that I’m not interacting and they’re all looking at me. Then they all look at each other. Then they look at him. And I’m like, “Yup.”

Who has time to parse through every single trade involving the Toronto Raptors and Orlando Magic to figure out which four players help make up this sex pentagon? Anyone? Readers? It’s yeoman’s work, but undoubtedly worth the pay-off. Someone must come through here. We implore you.

The 82-game regular season is a grind. No arguments there. But after reading Lisa Ann’s tales, we’ve never been more confident that its many perks outweigh those considerable rigors.

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