Mark Cuban Compares DeAndre Jordan And The Clippers To ‘Makeup Sex’

07.22.15 4 years ago
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Mark Cuban still hasn’t let DeAndre Jordan’s free agency flip flop go, even as the Clippers insist that it was never a big deal. The story now is blowing towards, “Yeah, DeAndre changed his mind. People do that all the time. U mad, bro?” Well, Cuban is still very mad, bro, and he’s taken to a very specific metaphor (please tell me it’s a metaphor) to keep throwing shade in DeAndre’s direction:

Sorry, I had something for this. Where’d I leave it? Oh, there it is:

As burns from jilted lovers (he started it!) go, this one’s pretty good. It might even deserve a couple of fire emojis (remember the emojis?).

Let’s talk this through for a second, though. If DeAndre and the Clippers are the ones staring at each other post-makeup sex and realizing they’re the same people (but now with Paul Pierce!), then Cuban is the side piece who was all packed up for the trip to Rio, only to have DeAndre leave him stranded at the airport with nothing but a text saying he’s going to try to work things out with an ex. But Cubes used up all his vacation time for this! Is he going to just vacation in Rio by himself like a weirdo? (Cubes totally would. He’d make friends with three cabbies and two bartenders and would be Instagramming a home-cooked meal in a favela by the end of it.)

When all this nonsense first went down, Cuban and the Mavericks came out looking very sympathetic. Five days of franchise planning around their new center, only to have him pull the rug out from under them with no backup plans left on the table. But the more Cuban snipes at Jordan, the less goodwill he gets from the public. All this pettiness has him nearly all the way back to where he was viewed before this whole saga: as one of the most outspoken (read: annoying) owners in the league. There’s one key difference now, however: We now know he totally imagines DeAndre and the Clippers (CP3? Doc? Ballmer?) having sex.

(Via Arash Markazi)

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