Hello, friends. We are in the final stretch of the NBA season, with more teams jockeying for positioning in the run-in to the postseason than there are fighting to make the playoffs in the first place. There are plenty of captivating on-court things right now, and we hope you continue to be compelled by all of them, but we here at Dime are very passionate about something and want to give it its proper due: Spoonerisms.
The NBA, by nature of being a thing that has a lot of names in it, is the breeding ground for many great spoonerisms, which is what happens when you take a name and flip the first letters in each of them. An example that does not appear in this post, as it is limited to current players, is how Larry Bird would be “Barry Lird,” which sounds like a person who would own a used car dealership in the upper midwest.
Anyway, we decided to go through NBA rosters and list out the best spoonerisms that we could find. We took creative liberties with a few of these — i.e. taking the first two letters of Spencer Dinwiddie’s first name and swapping them with only the first letter of his last name — and we marked the best of the best (10 in all) with italics. This entire exercise is very stupid. We hope you enjoy.
Bulls: Mauri Larkkanen
Venzel Dalentine
Bucks: Cat Ponnaughton
Look Bropez
Pobby Bortis
Teff Jeague
Cavs: Garius Darland
Narry Lance
Wylan Dindler
Celtics: Wobert Rilliams
Lomeo Rangford
Pabari Jarker
Clippers: Batrick Peverley
Grizzlies: Besmond Dane
Jyus Tones
Ma Jorant
Pontay Jorter
Tillian Killie
Hawks: Fruno Bernando
Bogdan Bogdanovic
Hevin Kuerter
He’Andre Dunter
Ram Ceddish
Heat: Bimmy Jutler
Doran Gragic
Runcan Dobinson
Hornets: Date Narling
Jazz: Ferrick Davors
Kings: Barvin Magley
Barrison Harnes
Hyrese Taliburton
Huddy Bield
Knicks: Porvel Nelle
Rulius Jandle
Lakers: Dared Judley
JeBron Lames
Magic: Bo Mamba
Farkelle Multz
Hary Garris
Thindarius Sornwell
Mavericks: Hate Ninton
Moban Barjanovic
Nets: Dencer Spinwiddie
Devin Kurant
Hames Jarden
Shandry Lamet
Nuggets: Bill Warton
Harkus Moward
Maul Pillsap
Pacers: Boga Gitadze
Leremy Jamb
Somantas Dabonis
SaKarr Jampson
Tyles Murner
Pelicans: Bonzo Lall
Hosh Jart
Haxson Jayes
Pistons: Hillian Kayes
Jank Frackson
Laben See
Plason Mumlee
Raptors: BeAndre’ Dembry
Waul Potson
Rockets: Tae’Sean Jate
Sixers: Jason Mones
Kurkan Forkmaz
Make Shilton
Sen Bimmons
Tayjon Rucker
Spurs: Gudy Ray
Matty Pills
Suns: Bevin Dooker
Gangston Lalloway
Krank Faminsky*
Sario Daric
Thunder: Barius Dazley
Dugentz Lort
Wenrich Killiams
Timberwolves: Huancho Jernangomez
Lake Jayman
Raz Neid
Trail Blazers: Cobert Rovington
Lamian Dillard
Nusuf Jurkic
Porman Nowell
Warriors: Bent Kazemore
Pordan Joole
Wames Jiseman
Wizards: Bavis Dertans
Lobin Ropez
[Ed. Note: Krank Faminsky was initially and egregiously omitted. Dime regrets the error.]
