The Pope Might Not Be The Star The Harlem Globetrotters Want, But He Is The Star They Need

By now you’ve surely heard the news. His Holiness himself, The Master Of Disaster, Splash Brother Incarnate, Pope Francis, he of the infallible jumper, met with the Harlem Globetrotters. This is big news for any and all basketball fans, as having God’s Mouthpiece himself on your team can do nothing but good.

The Pope got his own personalized No. 90 jersey, given to him by the Globetrotters at the Vatican, and while Francis has plenty of (more) important things to do, it might just be time for him to chase that hardwood dream. The heavenly sky’s the limit. If he can make it on the Globetrotters, an MVP award (and I swear I wasn’t going to make a most valuable pope joke) must not be far behind.

An audible groan was heard from Washington Generals fans all over the world. If the Generals couldn’t beat the Globetrotters before, how in the heck are they going to beat them if they have the Pope?