It was announced Thursday morning that Sting will perform at halftime of the 2016 NBA All-Star Game on Feb. 14, which is about the weirdest sports-related mad lib one could create.
Sting will headline the @NBAAllStar 2016 halftime show on February 14 in Toronto! Check out https://t.co/hYDlrJKSFF for details.
— Sting (@OfficialSting) January 28, 2016
Because the internet hates many things, most of all being subjected to mismatched music-sports events, it had a field day with the Sting news. As such, the flow of reactions came pouring in with jokes ranging from the sex-related…
Wait: Sting DID play the 2003 Super Bowl halftime. This IS the culmination of an epic multi-decade tantric musical performance!
— Bruce Arthur (@bruce_arthur) January 28, 2016
https://twitter.com/teamziller/status/692705344850493440
… to the straight-up nasty:
One time I called Sting a rude word in a Ford Focus hatchback after listening to him on NPR talking about playing a lute or some sh
— Kelly Dwyer (@KDonhoops) January 28, 2016
https://twitter.com/AdamReisinger/status/692703072976375809
https://twitter.com/BobbyBigWheel/status/692700255217963008
There was a common theme, though: Where’s Drake in all this? The Toronto-based actor-rapper was the most natural selection for the All-Star Game, which is in Toronto. Drake had a recent hit single (“Hotline Bling”) and is already coaching the celebrity pick-up game two days before.
https://twitter.com/netw3rk/status/692701776789794816
Sting is Toronto's All-Star halftime act because Drake has always wanted to cover "I'll Be Missing You" and to be a surprise guest.
— Adi Joseph (@AdiJoseph) January 28, 2016
https://twitter.com/noamschiller/status/692705924427976704
Sting at halftime of NBA all-star game? Wonder if Drake can stop by for a wee duet
— Doug Smith: Raptors (@SmithRaps) January 28, 2016
Did the NBA reach out to Drake? Did he pass? Was he consulted at all? Ideally, Drake makes a surprise performance as that one guy singing on “Desert Rose,” but that’s probably a stretch at best. Ultimately, we need to collectively brace ourselves for a halftime performance with long bass solos, uncomfortable staring and lyrics that, for the most part, are difficult to comprehend. Not that there’s anything wrong with all of that.
