Reggie Jackson put T.J. McConnell on a surfboard and gave him his first lesson on Monday night. It didn’t go very well.
Jackson nearly made McConnell eat the Pistons logo on the court with a brutal crossover move with less than five minutes left in the third quarter. The Pistons point guard got an ocean of space with the crossover, then hit a quick three to complete the embarrassment.
McConnell looks like a fella who got put on a rickety piece of wood in a vast body of water and is just trying not to drown in a shallow pool like Jurgus’ infant son in The Jungle. Because every NBA player’s greatest fear is to be paired with the meatpacking industry and turned into an extended metaphor for the physical and emotional toll the capitalist machine has on humankind.
In February alone we’ve seen Steph Curry drop Marvin Williams and Carris LeVert make Wayne Ellington crawl on the floor like a damn fool. Add in TJ McCollum blowing up Victor Oladipo’s spot on Sunday and it’s officially an epidemic of broken ankles in the NBA these days. Let’s hope doctors are working on a head-fake vaccine for these poor souls as quickly as humanly possible. Our highlight reels are at risk here, people.