Team Kobe vs. Team Dwight: The NBA All-Star Game gets a makeover

02.07.11 8 years ago 29 Comments
Considering the National Hockey League went from a legit “major” sport in the 1990s — even if you didn’t like hockey, you still had NHL 95 on Sega or Super Nintendo — to losing an entire season to a labor lockout, being relegated to Versus for a big chunk of its American national TV coverage, and getting less hype on ESPN than the X-Games, it’s safe to say the league didn’t do such a good job on the business side.

That said, pretty much everyone at Dime loved the NHL’s idea of having a player-led draft for its 2011 All-Star Game. And of course, we thought of doing it for the NBA.

So here’s the set up: The top All-Star vote-getter in each conference is a team captain. In this case, that would be Kobe Bryant and Dwight Howard. He can choose from a pool of the already-elected All-Star starters and reserves, with one alternate pick that can be anybody in the NBA except someone from his regular team.

For these proceedings, the part of Dwight Howard will be played by Austin Burton, while the role of Kobe Bryant will be played by Aron Phillips. Kobe has the rings, so he gets first pick:

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TEAM KOBE
LeBron James. When you can have the last three MVP award winners on one team, life is good.”

TEAM DWIGHT
Dwyane Wade. He can take over in crunch time as a scorer, plus he’ll know how to pass me the ball. Nobody gonna stop a pick-and-roll combo with me and D-Wade. I may be wrong, but I doubt it.”

TEAM KOBE
Kevin Durant. The Nike Basketball triumvirate of me, ‘Bron and KD is unstoppable. Buckets. Buckets. And more buckets. This is the All-Star Game. Shoot now, play defense later.”

TEAM DWIGHT
Carmelo Anthony. Good point, and you know ‘Melo gets buckets easier than anybody in the League. Besides, me and him might as well get used to being All-Star teammates when the format goes back to East versus West next year.”

TEAM KOBE
Blake Griffin. This might sound crazy, but I’ve got to go with my Staples Center roommate next. Have you seen this kid play?! He’s nice. Makes me kind of glad to know that my time has almost come to an end. If we get him the touches, he could win MVP.”

TEAM DWIGHT
Amar’e Stoudemire. I like how you still haven’t picked anybody who can guard me. (Didn’t D-Wade shut you down on Christmas Day? Just sayin’ …) Anyway, good luck checking me and STAT.”

TEAM KOBE
Pau Gasol. You’re talking about defense, then I gotta pick my man Pau Gasol. And that’s ‘back-to-back world champion Pau Gasol’ to you. Ahem…”

TEAM DWIGHT
Chris Paul. Doesn’t have to score to dominate.” Read More>>

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