More Evidence That Kobe Is Actually The One Playing Iron Man; Indiana Has Gone Fishin’

04.27.11 8 years ago 62 Comments

Hey Kobe Bryant, weren’t you supposed to be injured? If Chris Paul is the master of flopping and drawing ridiculous fouls than KB is the ultimate injury-milker. L.A. dodged a bullet in Game 5 against the Hornets, withstood a lights-out start from N.O. to run away by 16 in the second half. L.A. dominated inside with Andrew Bynum (18 points, 10 rebounds), and after an explosive first quarter where we thought he might even top his Game 4 numbers, CP slowed down … The Hornets came out scorching in the first quarter, cashing in on nearly 80 percent of their shots. No one will confuse New Orleans with the Phoenix Suns of yesteryear – they aren’t even an average offensive team – but yet they went through the L.A. defense like it was nothing. Paul (20 points, 12 assists), Trevor Ariza (22 points) and Marco Belinelli (21 points) all went to work. Phil Jackson needs something more than Zen to cure this. L.A. appears disinterested and out of shape at exactly the wrong time. Despite L.A.’s win, the Hornets were still doing whatever they wanted to up until the final three minutes of the first half before Kobe (19 points) got his Chris Brown on. Look at me now. Bryant had a dunk over the top of Emeka Okafor that was about five years late. There aren’t too many plays that make us say wow, that one did. Apparently, it revved up the Lakers’ engines as they immediately hit the guests with a little 14-7 mini run to end the half. You want a poster? Here ya go. In the secone half, KB had a left-handed jam that had us shaking our heads as well … Can we set something straight? Not to pull on Kobe’s legend-status cape, but the man is a genius at working the media with his injuries. He’s tough as hell and will play through a lot of things, but he also makes sure the media gets it when it comes to his issues, problems and bruises. Bryant loves all of this. He loves the drama. He loves the status that comes with it. He loves being considered the toughest boss to ever play the game … Random text from one of our boys last night: Yo, whatever happened to Tim Thomas? Well, he got old and no one wanted him. He hasn’t been relevant since a two-month period in 2006 when he woke up and was a huge factor in the playoffs. Before that, he hadn’t been good since like 2002. Who’s this playoff season’s Tim Thomas? … Was there anyone out there even remotely surprised that Orlando came out gunning, shooting down the Hawks by 25? They might not win this series, but they won’t die without both pistols spitting. J.J. Redick (14 points) was taking it back to Duke, drilling jumper after jumper to start the game. They were so into it we actually saw Hedo Turkoglu give a fist pump. Hey Orlando, maybe if some of your players weren’t sleepwalking for the past week and a half, you wouldn’t be on the brink of a messy summer. Just a thought … Jason Richardson had 17 points in his return from the suspension. Is this the start of something big in the Magic Kingdom, and the end of Atlanta’s run? Dwight Howard, who had just eight points and eight rebounds, predicted earlier that if they were to win Game 5, they could win it all. Probably not. If anything, this reveals just who the Magic are: phonies … The Hawks started the night a brutal 5-23 from the field. The only way a team can start out that bad, no matter what kind of defense the other team is playing, is if they blatantly decide not to show up, like Ryan Reynolds in Smokin’ Aces or Jay-Z with any verse post-American Gangster. They ended up shooting just 36 percent for the game and didn’t threaten Orlando once. If it wasn’t for Josh Smith (22 points, 11 rebounds), it would’ve been super ugly … Did we mention energy played a big part in the games last night? The Bulls came out exactly like Orlando did, full of hot air and jumpy legs and murdered Indiana, 116-89. We think we can speak for everybody when we say no one figured we would have to wait until the first quarter of Game 5 to find the real Chicago Bulls. The fact that it took this long is really kind of weird, but we finally found them. The Bulls dropped 36 points in the opening frame to put the pressure on Indiana. The Pacers did eventually cut it to four in the third, but Derrick Rose (25 points) shook off foul trouble and engineered a game-ending 23-8 run … Danny Granger (20 points) was solid again for the Pacers, but for most of the series, he was outplayed by Luol Deng (24 points, seven assists). When your best player can’t even show out and kill Deng, things aren’t looking good … We don’t know what’s cooler, the fact that after the game, Joakim Noah (14 points) went into the stands to catch up with his grandfather, who came all the way from Cameroon and had never seen him play in he NBA before, or what Noah said afterwards about him: “He’s 72, but he’s always ready to party.” … Why was Greg Anthony with TNT last night? Have they made a late-season deal? … We’re out like ankle issues.

For breaking news, rumors, exclusive content, and contests sent right to your inbox, sign up here for the Dime Email Newsletter.

Follow Dime Magazine on Twitter

Become a fan of Dime Magazine on Facebook

Around The Web

People's Party iTunes