Brace yourself for an onslaught of penis-related headlines, because if there’s any truth to the rumors that Ben Affleck was selling to MTV, we’re going to see a little more of him in Gone Girl than we’re used to. In a new interview for his upcoming thriller, based on the New York Times Best Seller by Gillian Flynn, Affleck claims that when director David Fincher was preparing him for his role as the husband of a missing woman (the always angelic Rosamund Pike), he told him that the movie “can have no vanity” and that “you have to see the naked underbelly of this character.” Translation: There might be some full frontal footage of Affleck, in case that’s the kind of thing that butters your popcorn.
Of course, there’s also the chance that Affleck is exaggerating the length of time that he’ll be naked on the big screen, if he even is at all. In that case, he’d be nothing but a big, old girthy liar. For the record, Vulture’s Amanda Dobbins said that she does not recall seeing Affleck’s ding-dong at all in Gone Girl, but sometimes you miss things if you’re not sitting in the first row.
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Vince’s Note: I received tangential confirmation of the Batpenis from a colleague and responded accordingly:
https://twitter.com/davidehrlich/status/515648783724859392
@davidehrlich Cut? Uncut? Head proportional to shaft? Straight? Crooked? Approx how vascular would you say? Shower or grower?
— Vince Mancini (@VinceMancini) September 26, 2014
Still waiting for a response.
UPDATE 2: Another colleague tells me that you do get to see Affleck’s penis for “5-6 seconds.” More news on this story as it comes.