Ellen Page Is Too Lesbian For Catholic School, Apparently

While there’s no official count, Catholic all-boys high schools probably download some of the highest amounts of lesbian porn in America. That’s why it comes as no surprise that a Catholic high school in New York recently banned Freeheld, a lesbian drama starring Ellen Page and Julianne Moore, from filming there. Even though producers had already secured permission to film, school officials recently reversed their decision because of concerns about the server – or   “because of the subject matter,” producer Michael Shamberg told The Hollywood Reporter.

What officials failed to recognize is that Freeheld isn’t exactly a celebration of lesbian life in America. Like pretty much every other queer film that preceded it, Freeheld tells the story of gays who die (nearly 56.5% of Academy Award-nominated LGBT characters die, as compared to 18% in the general population). Julianne Moore plays a dying gay detective who seeks to pass her pension benefits onto her long-term mechanic partner, Ellen Page. The sad drama is based on a real-life story which includes a motivational speech too painful to even Wiki. In a letter Shamberg wrote to the school principal, he explained:

“[Freeheld] is not about gay marriage, nor are the women attempting to get married. It is about recognizing the dignity of a woman who was a brave civil servant.”

Brave LESBIAN civil servants? Who DON’T want to throw dildo-infused bachelorettes? I don’t know about you guys, but that sounds like some old school Satanic witchcraft to me.

It’s upsetting, if not unsurprising, that these kind of things happen in one of the most liberal states in America, right outside a city that is ten million percent gay. In his response to Buzzfeed, who initially reported the story, Principal Flaherty responded:

 “All are welcomed at Salesian high school. Our school chooses to embrace the social issues such as hunger, homelessness, poverty, and helping the less fortunate.”

Sounds beautiful, although I’m not totally sure how  sexual orientation disqualifies young women from ‘the less fortunate’ category, especially when they are dying of, you know, cancer. Oh well. I’m sad for Ellen and the cast of Freeheld, but I’m happy that there’s a nice group of people on the internet who now hate this dude.

(The trailer is for the original documentary, not the fictional film).