A-hole children of celebrities finally catch a break

Senior Editor
06.14.10 21 Comments

Precious, booger-lipped wiener kids everywhere breathed a sigh of relief into their gilded inhalers this week as Jaden Smith proved that children of celebrities can succeed, so long as their parents buy them Jackie Chan.  Or, to put it in plain English, The Karate Kid earned $56 six million godd*mned dollars this week.  If you vote with your pocketbook, the American moviegoer overwhelmingly checked the box next to “I hate Jesus, America, puppies, and ice cream.”

While Karate Kid was making twice what the studio had predicted, The A-Team underperformed almost as much.  It earned $26 million for the weekend, which, in and of itself isn’t horrible, but as Deadline says:

That’s embarrassing for what was supposed to be the start of another franchise and a nailbiter between the two opening movies. It turned out not even close. “A pretty spectacular win,” one Sony exec exulted. “Not even Jerry Weintraub predicted that.”

Man, who would’ve thought a crappy-TV-show-based film that went through eleven screenwriters wouldn’t be a huge hit, huh?  I tell you, it’s a strange time to be alive.  Hey, assh*les, even McDonald’s had to make sure people liked their burgers before they started thinking franchise.  But let’s not let the A-Team detract from the real news: the era of celeb karaoke has officially upon us.  Thanks, Will and Jaden Smith, you’ve ruined everything for everyone.  I can’t wait until Tom Hanks’ kid gets to be a movie star now.  …Wait, what?  Aw crap.

Film Weekend Per Total
1 The Karate Kid $56,000,000 $15,288 $56,000,000
2 The A-Team $26,000,000 $7,355 $26,000,000
3 Shrek Forever After $15,800,000 (-38.0%) $4,085 $210,052,000
4 Get Him to the Greek $10,100,000 (-42.5%) $3,738 $36,500,000
5 Killers $8,170,000 (-48.4%) $2,858 $30,670,000
6 Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time $6,600,000 (-52.9%) $2,124 $72,300,000
7 Marmaduke $6,000,000 (-48.3%) $1,867 $22,278,000
8 Sex and the City 2 $5,525,000 (-55.2%) $2,009 $84,745,000
9 Iron Man 2 $4,550,000 (-42.5%) $1,974 $299,311,000
10 Splice $2,860,000 (-61.3%) $1,167 $13,071,000

[Numbers via BoxOfficeMojo, chart via CHUD]

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