03.07.08 10 years ago 49 Comments

Question marks in the headline can mean only one thing: it’s time to prognosticate! Will humans land on Mars?  Is purple the new pink? Would this monkey let me squeeze her tits for a banana?  No one knows for sure, and that means we’re free to speculate wildly! Yee haw!

Today’s pause for postulation comes from Nick D’Urso of New Jersey, who received a call from HBO asking him not to renovate Satin Dolls, the strip club he manages.

You see, Satin Dolls also doubles as the Bada Bing strip club… D’Urso swears that he heard legit info that a Sopranos movie could be in the works and HBO is making sure its top locations stay as much the same as possible. Soprano Sue, a crazed fan of the show who did some amateur location scouting for HBO [Translation: stalking the cast – Ed.], also says she heard about a movie from a crew member. [Source]

HBO reps still ain’t sayin’ nuthin’. I’m still pissed they decided to end the show on a useless scene with that ridiculously overplayed Journey song in the background instead of the scene before it, with Paulie Walnuts sitting outside having a stare down with the cat he’s convinced is a reincarneted version of Chris Moltisanti – which would’ve been the perfect ending.  But if they are doing a movie they better get on it, because I’m sure Celebrity Fit Club is busting their ass trying to make Gandolfini an offer he can’t refuse.  

By the way, does anyone ever actually lose weight on that show?  Carnie Wilson had gastric bypass, then went on the show, and she’s still fat. Actors have nothing but free time and plenty of money to afford a personal trainer – hiring a black dude to yell at them and filming it probably isn’t going to help.  No one on that show actually gives a shit about losing weight.  They should just make it about competitive eating.  Just fire the drill sergeant and hire the Japanese hot dog guy.  See?  Easy fix.

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