A fraternity at the University of Arizona (I hear that’s where all the smart pornstars transfer to if they do well enough at Arizona State) has been suspended by the university (“university”) for hazing allegations, the same fraternity that allegedly slipped Johnny Knoxville ecstasy during a screening of Bad Grandpa. If I had to guess who did it, I’d say it was probably either Pigpen or The Whizzinator, or maybe Date Rape Dave. Haha, RIP, Blowjob Stacey.
The Wildcat notes that at a screening for Bad Grandpa put on by SAE [Sigma Alpha Epsilon] last September, Knoxville unexpectedly got ecstasy in his beer. He told TMZ at the time, “Someone dosed me with ecstasy and after that the wheels fell off.” [Gawker]
Haha, same sh*t happened to Tampon’s Mom’s Beamer after the Chi O crabs fest in Spring ’12, but we’re pretty sure Big Head Tad the Pike did it as retaliation for hooking up with his suite mate Landing Strip Lisa. Not cool, douche. Tampon’s mom was seriously P.O.’d.
Knoxville being Knoxville, he was pretty cool about it:
Knoxville says someone slipped an ecstacy pill into his beer during a recent promo shoot for his new movie “Bad Grandpa” … and during his drug-induced haze, he injured his hand.
“I wasn’t mad at all,” Johnny said … “I hadn’t done it since my 20s and I was like ‘this is awesome’ … and after that the wheels fell off.” [TMZ]
Dude’s so rad, J-Knox is an honorary Phi Alpha bro for sheez.
Sadly for SAE, this latest was just one in a history of violations that has led to them being “suspended from all alcohol activities,” which probably means Spinach’s twin sister is going to be awful lonely this semester, haha up top.
SAE has been listed for policy violations on judicial reports 12 separate times since fall 2006, not including the current allegations, according to the Fraternity and Sorority programs judicial page. [TheWildcat]
I’ve heard SAE is known variously as “Same Assholes Everywhere” and “Sexual Assault Expected,” though Corpse’s Uncle Pete has advised me against saying anything about that ever since he represented me in my DUI-related suit against Friday’s after DG’s charity great leap forward party last Fall. Yeah I crashed a rickshaw, but the bottom line is, I was overserved, bros. Anyway, it’s pretty lame we’re not going to be able to throw so much as a kicker until this suspension’s over, but this wouldn’t be the first time a resourceful bro had to gank a keg from one of those Sigma Chi dickwads’ kumbaya parties either, now would it. Haha, I mean I’m not saying I’m just sayin. It is what it is. We didn’t haze Flapjacks to death last Spring to sit around moping like a bunch of bitches, am I right?