Angelina Jolie as Marilyn Monroe while George Clooney’s dog watches

Senior Editor
08.16.10 23 Comments

According to the latest story, internationally famous brunette sex symbol Angelina Jolie will soon be starring as internationally famous blonde sex symbol Marilyn Monroe.  Dogs and cats!  Living together!  Record scratch slide whistle!  George Clooney will supposedly play Frank Sinatra, and the story will be told from the perspective of Monroe’s dog, a gift from Sinatra.  All this according to the book’s author, Andrew O’Hagan (ie, it’s highly probable that none of this is happening, but is a great way to promote your book).

The Life and Opinions of Maf the Dog, and of His Friend Marilyn Monroe follows Monroe’s last two years through the eyes of her pet, Maf, a Maltese terrier which was a gift from Sinatra in 1960. [Telegraph]

In November 1960, Frank Sinatra gave Marilyn Monroe a dog. His name was Mafia Honey, or Maf for short. He had an instinct for celebrity. For politics. For psychoanalysis. For literature. For interior decoration. For Liver Treat with a side order of National Biscuits.
Born in the household of Vanessa Bell, brought to the United States by Natalie Wood’s mother, given as a Christmas present to Marilyn the winter after she separated from Arthur Miller, Maf offers a keen insight into the world of Hollywood’s greatest star. Not to mention a hilarious peek into the brain of an opinionated, well-read, politically scrappy, complex canine hero. [book description via Amazon]

So basically, Forrest Gump as narrated by Brian from Family Guy.  Meh.  I’d rather Clooney play an anthropomorphic dog with a big black snout in a suit and tie.  Possibly even a gay dog, like when he did the voice for the gay dog in South Park.  Now there’s your movie, you clowns.

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