Arnold leaves Maria to pursue big-assed Brazilians?

It was barely a month ago when I posted an old video of Arnold Schwarzenegger enjoying Carnivale in Rio back in 1983 (that’s Arnold in the banner picture, using his hand goggles to get a better look at a Brazilian folk dancer’s traditional tribal garb, the thong).  The video was almost 30 years old, but it demonstrated Arnold’s deep-seeded love for “mulatto ass.” To wit:

“You know something, after watching the mulattoes shake it, I can absolutely understand why Brazil is totally devoted to my favorite body part: the ass.”

It made many of us wonder how it was that this same jiggling mulatto-ass enthusiast had married one of the boniest, whitest women in America (a freakin’ Kennedy!).  The question seems to have proved prophetic, as Arnold and Maria have officially announced their divorce.  The announcement doesn’t say so, but we can only assume that the split came about partially for ass-related reasons. We repost this video in the hopes that Arnold can get back to doing the kind of awesome sh*t he was doing before he became a boring old governor and dad — waxing philosophic on mulatto ass, teaching a pretty interpreter carrot fellatio, talking about cumming everywhere…  As his movie career heats back up, we hope this is also an opportunity for him to show up to Thanksgiving in leather pants and a giant Harley, like newly-divorced, middle-aged dads everywhere.  So here’s to you, Arnie, the best knife-wielding, ass-ogling, pot smoking, bear chucking, carrot gagging, ice-cream-loving former governor a guy could have.  Best of luck, big guy.

Video courtesy of FoundFootageFest