Artist Cancels Exhibit of J-Law’s Nude Photos, Will Show Own Dong Instead

When news first leaked that someone had hacked a bunch of nude Jennifer Lawrence photos, it took a long time before my soul caught up with my brain and realized . . . that was a bad thing. Apparently, it took some people longer than others, including some artist from Florida named “XVALA,who wanted to showcase the photos as part of an art exhibit. Maybe it’s just me, but it’s unclear to me what’s “art”or “exhibit” about it – although I definitely see the subtle “sex” and “crime” angle.

According to Page Six, so many people complained to The Cory Allen Contemporary Showroom, the hosting gallery, that the curator decided to cancel the show:

“It was inspiring to see people take action through a petition, signing their name and not just commenting on a thread.”

I’m glad to see that Allen respects the hard, bloody work that goes into “signing a name,” but the idea should never have crossed his crappy mind in the first place. And for everyone who was excited to head to St. Petersburg to see some blown-up nudies, fear not: the artist will still showcase genitals. His own. XVALA explains:

“The concept was always about self-examination in our current culture.”

Self-examination – how funny! I saw this as a pathetic attempt for some artist who doesn’t like vowels to gain press exposure, but I guess I must’ve been – completely right. To the artist’s credit, it makes complete sense that he replaced Kate Upton’s boobs with his own blown-up dong. The decision to expose a woman’s nude body – without their consent – is a demonstration of power and control; a world, run by life-size wieners.

XVALA himself apparently has a long history of exposing female bodies/being a douche. In 2011, he plastered nude photos of Scarlett Johansson all around Los Angeles, with the words “Fear Google” covering her body. In 2007, he used Britney Spears’ shaved head as part of an art exhibit, and previous to that, he did a lot of other creepy things that I’m afraid to Google. Maybe that’s speculation, but it’s the kind of libel an artist can respect.