As payback for tainted milk, US gives China an Ashton Kutcher movie

Senior Editor
06.18.10 23 Comments

Every once in a while, I receive a press release and think, “Wow, you’re really just begging me to make fun of this, aren’t you.”  This was one of those times.

DMG Entertainment has secured the romantic action comedy “Killers” as the closing film at the 2010 Shanghai Film Festival, it was announced today by DMG Entertainment CEO, Dan Mintz.

“Killers is a coup for the Shanghai festival.  By understanding Western and Eastern culture, DMG understands what resonates with the Chinese people,” says Mintz.  “’Killers’ has two popular American stars in Ashton Kutcher and Katherine Heigl and the tone of this romantic action comedy has just the sort of identifiable traits in American projects that can be appreciated and enjoyed by the Chinese people.”

Mintz added: “The Chinese love American movies. However, it’s a tough market to break into and Hollywood needs to understand the subtleties of how to do business with China. We’ve spent 17 years perfecting the art of East West relations and we’re part of the cultural fabric, which mean we get things done.”

“We’ve spent 17 years in China and we know better than anyone that the Chinese will absolutely LOVE this Katherine Heigl Ashton Kutcher abortion that’s currently running 0% among top critics on RottenTomatoes. You think they care?  These people will eat sparrow eyes boiled in ox vomit and then smoke cigarettes made from rat turds.  That’s a delicacy here.”

2008: China tries to send tainted milk to America.  2010: America sends Killers to China.  Your move, China.

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