The internet was on fire yesterday with the shocking news that Ashton Kutcher has been cast as the lead in a biopic about Steve Jobs. Of course, that’s the only reason anyone would cast Ashton Kutcher in a biopic about Steve Jobs, so that people would write about it. Speaking of, how’s Lindsay Lohan’s Linda Lovelace biopic coming along?

Ashton Kutcher is attached to star as Steve Jobs in Jobs, an independent biopic being produced and financed by Five Star Institute’s Mark Hulme. Wasting no time, Joshua Michael Stern is set to begin principal photography in May while Kutcher is on hiatus from the CBS sitcom Two and a Half Men.

Ooh, clever title! Hmm, well this is odd, I haven’t heard of Mark Hulme, and neither has IMDB. What’s “Five Star Institute,” you ask? Well it sounds like an institution that would advertise during daytime judge shows with a girl who raps their 800 number, but according to their awesome flash site:

The Five Star Institute is the premier provider of education for the real estate professional, providing innovative and unparalleled academics developed by industry authorities.

Sounds like the perfect background for someone getting into the movie business! Director Josh Michael Stern, meanwhile, you may remember (though probably not) from Swing Vote, the ultimately money-losing classic about a presidential election coming down to the vote of one Joe Sixpack, played by Kevin Costner. But he also directed The Contractor, with Wesley Snipes.

It’s a high-profile assignment for Kutcher, and Jobs looks to get off the ground before Sony pulls together its own biopic on the man behind Apple Inc. Last fall, Sony snapped up the film rights to the authorized biography by Walter Isaacson that was published within weeks of Jobs’ Oct. 5 death. [THR]

Oh, you mean a real movie company is doing a different Steve Jobs biopic based on actual source material? But how will they ever hope to compete? I mean this one has ASHTON KUTCHER.

[picture source = HollywoodReporter]