Senior Editor
10.06.09 33 Comments

Masturbating to Showgirls when I was younger warped my psyche, because from that point on, I expected the female orgasm to look like Elizabeth Berkley flopping around (NSFW) like an injured sea lion under a waterfall.  But as it turns out, the female orgasm is a myth.

According to German publication/site Extratipp, writer/director Marc Vorlander has been developing a [Showgirls sequel] called SHOWGIRLS: STORY OF HOPE, one centered on the original’s minor character, Hope — played then and now by model/actress Rena Riffel.

The project, says the trade, is so “good” it attracted two Hollywood producers and a $25M budget for production in Frankfurt.  “It’s about stripper who died from a dose of contaminated cocaine. Her brother comes to Frankfurt to find the responsible and revenge.” [JoBlo]

And if I know Germany, it’ll be full of girls getting pooped on. I don’t understand Germany.  You can find girls covered in poop and getting peed on in the young adult section of their public school libraries, and yet their most popular American imports are Baywatch and cheap soft-core like Showgirls.  Plus, they wear Teva sandals and dress like lesbians.  I’m telling you, those people are weird.  (*zips gimp mask, pours cough syrup on balls*)

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