Awesome title alert: ‘Fast Flash to Bang Time’

11.04.11 7 years ago 16 Comments

We don’t know much about Fast Flash to Bang Time, other than that it’s set to star Michelle Monaghan (right) as a sex addict and be directed by Peter Illif, who wrote Point Break and Varsity Blues (AH DON’T WANT. YOU’RE LAHFE!). Tell you what though, if you can find a title that could more easily be its own porn parody, I’ll give you a dollar.

W. Peter Iliff will write and direct the pic, which is set in Las Vegas, the last stop for FBI agents who have screwed up past assignments. Story follows a pair of troubled agents as they search for a killer and a kidnapped infant, all while struggling to hide addictions that could end their careers.
Monaghan is in talks to play a sex-addicted FBI agent and KK&P is still in the process of casting the crack-addicted male lead. [Variety]

Well that could be fun. Meanwhile, ThePlaylist adds an US Weekly wrinkle:

In a behind-the-scenes twist tailor-made for TMZ, an original backer of ‘Fast Flash’ was Sonja Morgan, one of the “Real Housewives of New York.” When she tried to back out of the arrangement, a judge informed Morgan of her legal obligation to finance the film, ordering her to hand over $7 million. When all of this went down last May, ‘Bang Time’ was being described as a “failed movie venture” in which Morgan was potentially liable for “fraudulent conduct” because the film hadn’t gotten made.

“Phew, well it’s nice to hear one of the Real Housewives will be avoiding a hefty fine and fraud charges.” -Bizarro World Me

Also, have you noticed almost none of the Real Housewives are actual housewives? Half of them are divorced or single, and none of the married ones actually home make. All they do is argue and shop. They wouldn’t pass for housewives on a porn set. I think someone at Bravo has confused “housewife” with “cunt.” The Real Cunts of New York. The Real Cunts of Miami. We all know the score, just end this silly charade.

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