Best Headline Ever? The Washington Post Deserves a Pulitzer (UPDATE)

UPDATE: As FilmDrunkard Russell points out: “The paper that you have in that picture is the Express, which is a free paper that gets passed out at Washington DC Metro stations. The Washington Post is a very different thing.” He’s write, I shouldn’t have taken the submitter’s word for it without checking. The Post does own Express, but the staff of the Post doesn’t write the articles. So sorry for all the misplaced sh*t talking, Washington Post.

I can’t even fathom how old and out of touch you’d have to be not to see the sexual connotations of this, even for someone working at the Washington Post. Really, this had to be an inside joke, right? RIGHT?!? I don’t even know what the hell this would mean if I DIDN’T interpret it as a sexual fetish. If the person who wrote this wasn’t in on the joke, he’s probably busy putting an onion on his belt and having the barber draw blood to flush out the bad humors right now. Meanwhile, this new method of taint cleaning sounds delightful. I’m throwing away my loofah this second. JEEVES, FETCH ME A FERRET! LOOFAHS ARE FOR POOR PEOPLE!

Just to make this movie related, I hear they’re planning a film adaptation of this story. I’m told Richard Gere has expressed interest in the part of the ferret. (*attempts to tapdance offstage, takes tomato to the groin*)


Sidenote: We have an AP style book to tell us all how and when to write out numbers, when to use commas, and where to put punctuation in quotations, damn near everything but how to wipe your ass. Would it really be that hard to get on the same f*cking page when it comes to spelling the name of a famous dictator? Gadhafi, Gaddafi, Kaddafi, Qaddafi — HE’S A DUDE, NOT A KRAFT DINNER. STOP TRYING TO BRAND THAT SH*T. And who’s the asshole who thought, “I think it should be spelled with a Q without a U after it,”? That guy should be tarred and feathered and quartered and burned at the stake.