A FilmDrunk reader discovered this Netflix review for a film called “Jailbait,” whose tagline is “in the vein of Orange is the New Black,” which the submitter describes as “Transmorphers for women in prison.” Netflix, meanwhile, describes it as “steamy, gritty, and dark,” which is sexy and also an accurate description of a dump I took recently.
That’s the succinct version, but I think “Sara M. Lane” nailed the longer version:
I like that she can deliver nicely articulated summary while seamlessly weaving in her point of view about how rape is bad and freckled breasts are nice, and that she’s not afraid to offer a hot take about how maybe we’d be better off if the races were kept separate. You wonder if she’s a prison guard herself? Maybe she’ll consider moonlighting as our streaming critic.
Some of the other reviews for this were pretty good too:
Completely unrealistic. What 17-year old straight A cellist is going to have huge breast implants and a neck tattoo?
Whoa whoa whoa, no need for ignorant generalizations about cellists, man, everyone knows cellists are the Dennis Rodmans of the symphony. I’ve heard Yo Yo Ma has “BITCHES AIN’T SHIT” tattooed on his belly in Olde English letters.