Senior Editor
03.18.09 21 Comments

So, me and Hangover Bear were just sitting here, trying to figure out what we ate after closing time last night, when I came upon these clips of Bill O’Reilly talking about sex (from the audio book of Those Who Trespass, a novel he published in 1998).  Needless to say, I’ve since purged and I feel a lot better.  I think my favorite clip is, “She OBEDIENTLY performed oral SEX on him. Five feet away, the OTHER teenage girl sat on a MATRESS on the floor and watched, GREEDILY sucking on a CRACK PIPE Robo had passed to her.”  Write what you know, I guess.

“Say baby, put down that pipe and get MY pipe UP.”

“I would like you to unhook your bra and let it slide down your arms. You can keep your shirt on.”

“Cup your hands under your breasts and hold them for ten seconds.”

This one I just call “Smooth Jazz Sex Shower”

Lots more clips over at VillageVoice.

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