Blockbuster Announces Netflix-Style Split

A few days ago, Netflix Co-Founder Reed Hastings announced that, in order to assuage consumer anger over their recent wage hike, they’d be splitting their streaming service and DVD service into two separate companies, Netflix (streaming) and Qwikster (DVDs, retarded names from the late 90s). Now Blockbuster, with the help of Landline TV, has announced that they’ll be diversifying their DVD rental business and their popcorn business into two separate entities: Blockbuster, which will still rent movies, and Plopydop, which will sell popcorn, which has been renamed Plopydop. You see? This business model is really catching on. In fact, in the wake of these announcements, I’ve decided that from this day forth, all writing will be done by me, Vince Mancini, while the other portion of the FilmDrunk business model — silly Photoshops — will now be created by an alter ego whom I’ve named Sir Penis Von Wienerheim.

Eh. Frankly, Sir Penis, I’ve seen better.