In a perfect world, we could judge The Book of Eli totally on its own merits without comparing it to The Road. But as a wise man named Will Smith once said, “Welcome da Earff.” It looks like they took The Road, a book that was unique in its approach to the apocalypse, and said, “Hey, know what’d make this way more awesome? Sword fights and bible references and Mila Kunis!” Thereby turning an unconventional approach to conventional subject matter into a really conventional approach to conventional subject matter. Or as I like to call it, a Vin Diesel movie. The upside is, instead of Vin Diesel, this one has Denzel Washington and Gary Oldman and Cheddar Bob from 8-Mile. Still, could use more tigers.