Bourne Legacy Trailer: Jeremy Renner grinds a rail on a dirt bike!

I’ve always considered the Bourne movies to be basically two-hour, network TV procedurals with more annoying cinematography, but now that the Bourne Legacy trailer has Jeremy Renner doing a sick rail grind  on his dirt bike with a chick on the back the whole time, perhaps I owe them another look. Motherf*cker’s collar doesn’t even come unpopped! The only thing that could make this cooler is if he was doing that sunglass-rail grind move at night. Though if I find out that the back of his jacket doesn’t say “If you can read this, the bitch fell off,” I’m demanding a refund. OOOH WAH-AH AH-ATCH THIS, YOU GUYS!

The narrative architect behind the Bourne film series, Tony Gilroy [Duplicity, Michael Clayton], takes the helm in the next chapter of the hugely popular espionage franchise that has earned almost $1 billion at the global box office: The Bourne Legacy. The writer/director expands the Bourne universe created by Robert Ludlum with an original story that introduces us to a new hero (Jeremy Renner) whose life-or-death stakes have been triggered by the events of the first three films. For The Bourne Legacy, Renner joins fellow series newcomers Rachel Weisz, Edward Norton, Stacy Keach and Oscar Isaac, while franchise veterans Albert Finney, Joan Allen, David Strathairn and Scott Glenn reprise their roles. [Apple]

(*cranks Linkin Park, chugs Red Bull, somersaults over coffee table*)


(*flips off cat, jumps out the window*)