Box Office: America tiring of Pirates franchise, but slowly

People still interested in the Pirates of the Caribbean franchise because they love Johnny Depp to me are like smokers who’d rather pick butts out of a scummy gutter than wait for the 7/11 to open.  I’d been praying that people would get tired of this franchise since about 40 minutes into the first one, and it seems it’s finally happening, albeit incredibly slowly.  4irates of the Caribbean (as I like to call it) grossed an estimated $90 million over the weekend, which beat out Fast Five‘s $86.2 million for the biggest opening of 2011. But even with half its money coming from premium-priced 3D, 4irates was still the lowest-grossing sequel of the franchise.

Relative to its predecessors, Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides sank: At World’s End drew $114.7 million on its first weekend in May 2007 (not including $13.2 million in Thursday night previews), while Dead Man’s Chest raked in a then-record $135.6 million opening weekend back in July 2006. Adjusted for ticket price inflation, those grosses would be the equivalent of $131 million and $163 million, respectively. On Stranger Tides’s start was also less than that of the last Johnny Depp spectacle Alice in Wonderland (2010), which began with $116.1 million. [BoxOfficeMojo]

Probably just missing out on that “Orlando Bloom Bump.” Full top ten after the jump.

Film Weekend Per Total
1 Pirates 4 $90,100,000 $21,685 $90,100,000
2 Bridesmaids $21,100,00 (-20%) $7,184 $59,559,240
3 Thor $15,500,000 (-55%) $3,950 $145,406,155
4 Fast Five $10,600,000 (-48%) $2,927 $186,188,585
5 Rio $4,650,000 (-44%)
$1,793 $131,646,651
6 Priest $4,600,000 (-69%)
$1,606 $23,683,128
7 Jumping The Broom $3,700,000 (-48%) $2,514 $31,317,552
8 Something Borrowed $3,452,000 (-50%) $1,314 $31,428,065
9 Water For Elephants $2,150,000 (-49%) $1,135 $52,427,574
10 Big Happy Family $990,000 (-55%) $1,086 $51,756,990

Just to reiterate: this year’s two highest-opening films were Pirates 4 and 5 Fast 5 Furious.  Oy.  Can’t we just combine them somehow?  Paul Walker stows away on the Black Pearl and they have to BASE jump for some reason? For the record, I think we were always this dumb, the difference is, producers used to be embarrassed about it.

Meanwhile, Bridesmaids was only 20% off its opening weekend, holding better than The 40-Year-Old Virgin and The Hangover at the same points, which is pretty incredible.  It was a decent comedy that I don’t think we need to pretend was a “landmark in feminism.”  But maybe if they do go through with the idea for a sequel, now that they’ve been validated by the box office, they won’t feel like they have to shoehorn a sh*tting scene into it to get dudes into the theater.  When you think about it, that might be the strangest decision ever.

“Hey, so we’ve got this great comedy full of pretty girls.  But how can we get guys to the theater?”

“Uhh… maybe show them sh*tting?”

What is this, Germany?

[via CHUD, BoxOfficeMojo — banner video via BruckheimerPitchMeeting]