Senior Editor
05.08.09 34 Comments

Someone’s baking frownies! As producer Joe Gatta tells Empire, Brett Ratner will no longer be directing his remakes of Conan the Barbarian or Red Sonja.

“We’re currently in the process of hiring a director,” he told us. “For the past six months we were discussing the movie with Brett Ratner, and for more timing issues than anything else we had to part ways with Brett. We all wanted him to do it, believe me; just the timing didn’t work.”

On the plus side, this means the world is spared another Brett Ratner movie.  The downside is, Brett Ratner probably got paid a bunch of money for doing absolutely nothing yet again.  I can only imagine their pre-production meetings over nachos.  “Yo, so me and my boy Ben Lyons were talking about this over hookah the other night, and we think it’d be really sick if Conan had a robot sidekick.”  “But, Brett… it’s about barbarians.  They didn’t… have robots.”  “Hmm, I dunno, homey, your call.  But I think we might have to schedule another one of these free-nacho parties to get this all squared away.”

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