Brett Ratner to Crotch Fondlebomb Hercules

Senior Editor
07.15.10 22 Comments

For a guy who hasn’t made a feature since Rush Hour 3, Brett Ratner’s name sure gets attached to a lot of projects. My sense is that he just shows up, collects a paycheck for a while, and then leaves when the nachos run out.  The latest project for which he’s reportedly “in talks” is Hercules.  I just hope they’ll treat it with all the respect they showed Conan, by which I mean hire a guy from a Baywatch spinoff to star.

Mustard my corn dog, LA Times:

Ratner is in talks to direct Lerner’s long-developed tale of the mythological god (Hercules to the Romans, Heracles to the Greeks). The producer has been developing the movie for more than three years, with the project gaining new momentum of late, though it’s still in the development stage. Little is known about the specifics of the new version, though it’s expected to bring Lerner’s classic action ethos to the larger-than-life character.

If this project ever happens (which it won’t), I guaran-godd*mn-tee you they will try to get Taylor Lautner to star. They should just re-release the original from 1970 in which Arnold Schwarzenegger fights a bear.  This is one of my favorite clips of all time:

“Hercules… beat him up!” 

In the Brett Ratner version, the girlfriend part will be re-written for Chris Tucker.

UPDATE: The Wrap says the LA Times story is not true. Incredibly, I didn’t need any fancy sources to know this wouldn’t happen, I only had to hear Brett Ratner was involved.

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