Senior Editor
08.29.08 25 Comments

Brett Ratner recently spoke with MTV, who were interviewing him in conjunction with his nomination for a “Best Director” Video Music Award for Miley Cyrus’ “7 Things”. Now, before I get into the Guitar Hero story, please watch the video and tell me I’m not crazy. I’m not missing anything, right? It’s really just a bunch of people in a white room singing along to the song? I think she could’ve saved a lot of money by making this in one of those booths at the mall. Get it? She sang about text messaging and a girl held up her cell phone! Oh my God, you’re a f-cking genius, Brett Ratner! Anyway, here’s the stupid thing he said today:

“I love ‘Guitar Hero’ and I think it’s a part of pop culture. I would love to do a ‘Guitar Hero’ movie, if Activision would ever let me. I’m trying to convince them, but why would you have a movie screw up such a huge franchise? Not that I would make a bad movie. So that would be cool, to do a ‘Guitar Hero’ movie. ”

What, you mean like that South Park episode?

“It could be about a kid from a small town who dreams of being a rock star and he wins the ‘Guitar Hero’ competition. One of these dreams-[come-true] kind of concepts.”

Could it be a Chinese kid who gets paired up with Chris Tucker? You know, it sounds suspiciously like he’s just talking out of his ass to promote Guitar Hero as part of his marketing deal. C’mon, give it to us straight, oh soulless whore of Hollywood.

“I have a deal with Activision for their branding,” he said. “For instance, naming ‘Guitar Hero: World Tour,’ coming up with the new ‘Guitar Hero game name. It’s sort of like [MTV’s] ‘Rock Band.’ So they said: ‘Come up with a name.’ And I did, and it became ‘Guitar Hero: World Tour.’” [Source]

That’s right, Brett Ratner got paid (probably millions) for coming up with the words “World Tour”. Think about that next time you’re making 12 bucks an hour to edit a Power Point slide about “Teamwork!” or getting drooled on by the retards you teach. He should change the name of Brett Ratner Brands to Proof That There is No God.

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