Senior Editor
08.06.09 71 Comments

Joss Whedon is famous for a whole slew of stuff I’ve never seen (Buffy, Dollhouse) so I’ve never had an opinion on him, other than that his name sounds like weird hybrid.  Joss?  Isn’t that like Ryanathan, or Markael?  Regardless, the posters for Cabin in the Woods, which Whedon co-wrote with director Drew Goddard, are sort of fun plays on old horror movie clichés, which seems to fit what we know about the movie so far:

The Cabin in the Woods provides a new twist on a classic scenario, in this case the young-people-stranded-in-the-woods horror trope. [Older guys] Richard Jenkins and Bradley Whitford will play white-collar co-workers with a mysterious connection to the cabin. [via ComingSoon]

The posters read: “If you hear a strange sound outside… have sex.”  “If an old man warns you not to go there… make fun of him.”  “If something is chasing you… split up.”  Get it?  It’s like bad advice.    Let’s try a few:

– If you’re chatting with a 10-year-old online and she says bring over some condoms and a twelve-pack… it’s your lucky day.
– If all else fails… they don’t.
– If your family tree only has one branch… you might be a redneck.
– If you like apples… how do you like them apples?

Crap, I don’t think I’m doing this right.

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