Senior Editor
06.10.09 13 Comments

(They may have to bring in Oscar De La Hoya as a Hannibal Lecter-type consultant)

I’m not going to say the David Carradine story just got weirder, because someone’s already mentioned the possibility of ninjas. Let’s just say there’s some new information.  A Thai tabloid published pictures of Carradine’s body, adding some new details to our mental image of this:

The photo shows a body suspended from a bar in a closet, with his hands bound together above his head. Carradine’s genitals were also tied.  But the new sharper image also reveals what appears to be fishnet stockings covering the body. You can also see red women’s lingerie on the bed. And, it appears, Carradine may have been wearing a dark wig. [TMZ]

I can see choking yourself and tying ropes around your junk while you’re jacking off because hey, sometimes you gotta spice things up.  But who gets dressed up to masturbate?  Sounds to me like he had a hooker over, he accidentally overasphyxiated, and when she (or he) noticed he wasn’t breathing she pulled a Farley and got the hell out of there.  Admittedly I’m not a ninja expert, but this doesn’t sound like the work of the ninja.  They tend to kill people quickly and silently, without sticking around to add bizarre details to the crime scene.  You rarely see a group of ninjas standing around going, “Yeah, that’s good – now smear some lipstick on his face, put a carrot up his ass, and make it look like he was drawing a picture of a cow.”

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