69 Cats can mean only one thing: it’s time to congratulate ourselves. Here are the folks who were funny last week. Nominate for this week in the comments section below. The Mighty Fek’lhr became the early leader with this comment in Kevin Smith is too fat to fly, and dare I say it remains the leader:
1. The Mighty Fek’lhr says:
OK, on the real, I tip the scales (yes scales, it takes more than one) at 375 lbs. I have never bought more than one seat for myself ever and I have never been kicked off a flight. And, yes, I am one of those annoying fat guys that needs a seat belt extension and will put an arm up on the chair to let the blubber flow! F-CK YOU!
Anyway, I am calling shenanigans here. I am one of the fattest f-cks that gets on a plane and nothing like this has ever happened to me ever. (Then again, I usually fly Northwest or United.) In fact, the worst thing that ever happened to me on a plane was getting upgraded to first class. Why, you ask? Because, being an alcoholic, I cannot refuse free booze when it is offered and the rental car parking ramp in Dallas was REALLY twisty.
HA HA! Kevin Smith is a fat Romulan! BONG!!!!!!!!!! ALL ABOARD THE YINTAGH FAILPLANE!
I think it’s the contrast between total earnestness and ridiculous shtick that does it for me. Meanwhile, our runner up took my suggestion of Irvine Welsh and Werner Herzog being Taboo partners to the next level:
2. Mark it Zero says:
Herzog: Ze Gulag. Mine secund vife. Zat time ve vent to za fashion show vit da moonkeys, ze had dat ting, remember? Um, number five dollar menu item… Um, Um, grave robbers.
Welsh: Howdy Doody?
Herzog: YAH! YAH!
Incredible. Number three, from Hunter Thompson could teach Kevin Smith how to complain:
3. Erswi says: Hunter S. Thompson could convince Descartes that he wasn’t.
Number four and five, from Jay Baruchel stars in Dog Eats Jizz Stain:
4. Pauly Dangerously says: I usually need her Dad in the room just to finish.
5. Jacktion! says: I guess they got Mike Piazza to play the dog.
That might be a reference to something, but I like it better as an absurdity. Number six, from
6. Donkey Hodey says: She looks like a broken prototype of a Stepford Celine Dion.
One of those funny-’cause-it’s-true comments. This next one from American Pie reboot should probably be higher, but I don’t really sort these things.
7. Stranger in the Alps says: The buzz at Sundance about this was insane! It’s an hour and a half, continuous take of Jason Biggs trying to get his d-ck out of a pie.
For number eight, tie goes to the Kevin Smith fat jokes:
8. Watanabex says: more like silent blob, am i right?
Pauly Dangerously: Kevin Smith cheered up when he heard he can charter a plane, only to get sad again when they explained to him they said “charter” not “tartar”.
Number nine, Spazmodic uses Italy’s unclean 3D glasses to imagine Italian Avatards:
Italian Avatard #1: “I wish-a we were all on-a Pandora, I long-a to feeeeel the world-a like-a the Na’a’avi. The treees, the aiiiir, the SEXXXX!”
Italian Avatard #2 (extending fake tail/USB port thing): “Join-a the queue!
Finally, Donkey Hodey, same post:
10. Donkey Hodey says: I got yer cannoli right here.
*grabs pan of cannolis*
F-ck, I’m bad at this.
I thought that was a nice twist.
SITE NOTE: I’ll be burying this post below the Birdemic trailer to make sure everyone sees that.