While it’s true that we’re currently waiting for a re-up on
Okay, time to choose the winners. Had to give the top nod to The Mighty Feklahr from the Sword-Wielding Porn Star Falls Down Cliff story:
The Mighty Feklahr has watched these a couple times now, and He is pretty sure that on the way down Steven Driver yells, “There…can be…only one…f*ck…I mean…as…you…wish…”
Not many other people can cram a third-person shtick, a Princess Bride reference, and a Highlander reference into the same comment and still make it relevant to the story at hand. That was beautiful.
Next up, from the Free Transformers Screening Causes Chicken Madness & Hate Crimes, I made a somewhat edgy joke about what may have prompted some black teens to allegedly attack a white kid’s Jeep, then John Wayne in a Devo Hat responded with any equally edgy joke. I was afraid to nominate it for fear people would miss the back story and get the wrong idea about us, but JWiaDH made a spirited defense and won me over. I’m going to skip the original comment and go straight to his stirring defense of free speech while I hum “Proud to be an American.”
John Wayne in a Devo Hat says:
Years ago, a great American in whose shadow we stand today [Al Gore?] signed the E-masturbation Proclamation”. This momentous decree came as a great beacon light to millions of Negroes and millions more Silly Honkies who yearned to submit awesomely crude jokes anonymously on teh interwebs.
I have a dream that one day this website rise up & live out the true meaning of it’s creed: “A movie blog that plays rough, just like your mother likes it.”
I have a dream that one day on a thread about the red hills of Georgia, the sons of slaves and the sons of slave owners will be able to sit down together and giggle at a KFC n-word joke at the office cubicle of brotherhood.
And if America is to become a great nation, this must become true. Only then can Chick Fil A give away it’s tasty sandwiches at public gatherings in Atlanta without rioting, and only then will ALL of God’s children be able to join hands and sing “Free at last! Free at last! Thank God Almighty, processed chicken and this sh*tty Michael Bay movie is free at last!”
And finally, I must recognize a newbie commenter who ducked briefly in to roast us, and did a pretty swell job of it. From Michael Jai White’s Mortal Kombat Sizzle Reel:
Stanko says: hey! lets never actually make valid comments about the topic at hand, and just say things in hopes of winning “Comment of the Week!!!”
“[sneaks in, staples used condom to bulletin board]” GOD D*MN YOURE WITTY!!
You have to admit, stapling a condom to a bulletin board was a pretty good metaphor. So there you have it, winners, send me your address to collect your prize. If any of you should fail to email with your address in a timely manner, your prize will go to Moose, from the Crazy Old Twilight Lady and Her Crazy Twilight Room post:
Moose says: You know that Twilight commemorative plate gets licked clean after every meal, whether she ate off of it or not.
That’s all for this week, folks. Remember to check out the Showgirls 15th Anniversary Edition. And keep commenting and nominating this week for your chance to win “Stark Raving Black,” starring comedian Lewis Black and his uncensored live comedy.