Comments of the Week: Super China Giant Screen, I Guarantee It

Your comments always inspire fun collages, but this one was particularly satisfying. I’ll explain each component of this piece by sharing the original comment, but I hope the winners can already recognize their contributions.

Thank The Rutger Hauer Experience for Ghost Vince. When many of you wished Vince luck at the Gathering of the Juggalos (by which I mean you predicted his death), the Rutger Hauer Experience pulled an impressive callback:

From: Vince Mancini

To: Mr. & Mrs. Mancini

RE: Concerning my disappearance at the GoJ

Dear Mother,

I have gone to Africa. Yesterday I went paragliding near Johannesburg. Vince had a good time, feeling so alive. Tomorrow, I’m going to the Congo where they have many snakes. Do not try to come look for me (Vince). Everything is fine. Say hi to my brother(s) and/or sister(s).

Kind regards,

Vince Mancini

It’s a foolproof way to keep your murder a secret. What about Obama’s Wolverine claws? Vince’s weekend box-office report was on Google News for a while, and some strangers accidentally stumbled into these here FilmDrunk parts:

James from DFW: Look I’m not political, but WTF does Obama have to do with this? You’re just pissed because you can’t pick the winners….

Kazoshay: Obama said Wolverine could have been him 35 years ago.

Looks like James from DFW isn’t a new user, so I don’t even know what to say (except: more like James from DUH!!). Moving on to Denzel, who’s been on all our minds since the Denzel Washington Guaranteeing Things supercut was released. Of course, you can’t hear the word “guarantee” without thinking of that Men’s Warehouse guy, so Chareth Cutestory gave a perfect mash-up:

“You’re going to like the way you look, I guaran-goddamn-tee it.”

“I don’t know. Why does this suit jacket have, like, 18 buttons?”


And WHY, you still ask, are they tucked behind Yao Ming? It can be explained by this week’s winning comment, from the story on Pacific Rim‘s success in China:

Ace Rimmer: A China Giant Screen is the play where everyone hides behind Yao Ming.

Bravo, Ace. Your prize is a poorly photoshopped scene of your choosing. Description limited to 140 characters; include it in the comments below or contact me on Twitter. To the rest: remember to keep your wits about you, and nominate your favorite comments of the week in the comments section of this very thread. For next week, the winner will receive a poorly photoshopped scene of their choosing (description limited to 150 characters).

A very honorable mention to Martin for nominating a bunch of comments and making it easier to find the best of the best.