COMMENTS OF THE WEEK: CHEWBACKA EDITION

Senior Editor
09.14.09 103 Comments

(There can be only one Norwegian ridiculous name-having ginger.)

Hope you all weren’t busy giving a crap about the MTV leaked sex tape awards or whatever, because we’re here to talk funny FilmDrunk comments from last week.  You ready?  As always, nominate for next week in the comments section of this post.

No prize for the winner this week, so let’s just enjoy the funny, shall we?  We begin in the LA VIDA LOCA DOCUMENTARIAN MURDERED thread.

Immortal 9 says:
Medical Examiner: The victim was making a documentary about the gang called Living La Vida Loca
Horatio Caine: Looks like they’ll take away your pain *puts on sunglasses* like a bullet to your brain.
YEAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Like momma once said, it’s all fun and games until someone gets murdered and then we make a CSI Miami joke with Ricky Martin lyrics about it.

Next, the first of many Donkey Hodey contributions, in JEAN CLAUDE VAN DAMME TO FIGHT THAI BOXING GOLD MEDALIST SOMLUCK KAMSING:

Donkey Hodey says: I’d buy a ticket just to watch these two compete in a match wherein they have to shout the correct pronounciation of the other’s name.

Next up, John Wayne in a Devo Hat in BRETT RATNER IS LAZY:

John Wayne in a Devo Hat says: “@yoko: So does Beatles Rockband come with a special gun for shooting at John or can I just use this old one that came with Duck Hunt?”

Yeah, I don’t know why he’d be saying that to Yoko either, just go with it.  Back to Donk, he had plausible explanation for why Nic Cage dropped out of Green Hornet:

Donkey Hodey says:
 ‘…but the actor and the studio were not able to come to terms on a deal.’
The problem is that Nic Cage said he had a number in his head and the studio exec went catatonic trying to ponder the sheer size of a number capable of fitting in Cage’s cranium.

Donk again, this time in the Trick ‘R Treat trailer.

Donkey Hodey says: If you told Anna Paquin to say “I want to suck your penis” in a dracula voice, it would come out sounding like the Lucky Charms dude.

I’ve have no idea what the hell that means, but I laughed.  Did Chodin write that for you?  Elsewhere, Ted Snopes forgot to maintain his shtick (a shtick I quite enjoy) in WES ANDERSON DIRECTS VIA EMAIL, but still scored some laughs.

Ted Snopes says:
‘I’ve got 15 DVDs here — what does he want?’

He wants a scarf. Buy him a scarf.

In JAMES CAMERON PRODUCING UNDERSEA 3D DRAMA aka SON OF ABYSS!, Fek’lhr plays word association games.

Fek’lhr says: What I really need to know is this: If a banana fits perfectly into Kirk Cameron’s hand, and a fleshlight fits perfectly into James Cameron’s hand, will my shotgun fit perfectly in Cameron Diaz’s mouth?

Next up, Eibmoz finds the tasty angle to TYLER PERRY’S COLORED GIRLS CENTER FOR HEALING:

Eibmoz says: mmmm..creamy chocolate center.  
for healing.

Meanwhile, in PURTEND THE QUARTERBACK’S YER WHITE MOMMA, Pauly Dangerously finds the last line of the exchange, “Yer changin’ that boy’s laahfe.”  “Nope, he’s changin’ maahne.”

Pauly Dangerously says:  Aah don’ won’ my laahfe.

Did anyone else just get the urge to see a movie where Sandra Bullock adopts a retarded James Van Der Beek and teaches him to play football?  From weekend preview:

Donkey Hodey says: Looks like I picked the wrong weekend to stop hammering railroad spikes through 2×4s with my penis.

And finally, the winner this week is the entire JULIUS ANDREAS GIMLI ARN CHEWBACKA HIGHLANDER ELESSAR-JANKOV thread:

Stinky Peet says: He’s going to star in the new state tourism campaign, “Norway: Land of the Midnight Sunburn.”

DeFrank says: McDonalds + Phillip Seymour Hoffman = Andreas Jankov

Burnsy says: That green bracelet is for virginity awareness.

Jacktion! says: I’m changing my name to Robbie Master Shake Cupcake Dog Rotten.

SlammaJamma says:  I am 83% sure that I dreamed this human being into existence.

chodin says:
*leans in close, splits the back of his tuxedo jacket*

The name’s Andreas Gimli Arn MacGyver Chewbacka Highlander Elessar-Jankov.

JULIUS Andreas Gimli Arn MacGyver Chewbacka Highlander Elessar-Jankov.

Fek’lhr says: If Julius Andreas Gimli Arn MacGyver Chewbacka Highlander Elessar-Jankov’s fleshlight doesn’t make lightsaber sounds, He will turn in His ridged forehead and fangs.

Wow… so much imagery…

Chodin says:

Becca: “Oh my gawd! Did you hear that Carol f*cked Julius?”

Karen: “Julius Keller?”

Becca: “No, Julius Andreas Gimli Arn MacGyver Chewbacka Highlander Elessar-Jankov, ya’ dumb bitch.”

It’s funny because their names are Becca and Karen.

John Wayne in a Devo Hat says: I don’t care what he calls himself now, he’ll always be Orange Julius Supersize McMullet Little Opie Cunningham Jankov to me.

…And that’s what keeps me reading the comments section.  Well done, all.  Now if you’ll excuse me, I have some janking ov to do.

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