Senior Editor
08.29.08 46 Comments

Last month, former UFC Light Heavyweight champ Rampage Jackson ran from the police, sideswiping a car, narrowly missing pedestrians, driving on the wrong side of the road, and other assorted reckless crap. No one was hurt, though the pregnant driver of a car he sideswiped did have a miscarriage (but if you ask me,if you have a miscarriage because someone scraped the side of your car, your kid was probably going to be a pussy anyway).

Rampage pleaded guilty to various charges and is awaiting sentencing. He faces a maximum of up to three years in prison, but will probably just get probation. Which brings us to today, when more about the events surrounding Rampage’s rampage have come to light. Besides not sleeping for three days and consuming nothing but energy drinks, it all comes down to a crappy movie.

The chase apparently ended in front of friend Brian Talbert’s home. Rampage had spent the night before watching the DVD of “The Secret” over and over again, and then remembered he had loaned a copy to Talbert, and became obsessed with getting to him to make sure he watched it.

I’m including the first 20 minutes of The Secret after the jump. I got through about five minutes of it. They use the usual cult/huckster tactic of going on and on about how “the mystical something” gave the bald guy hair, made the paraplegic walk, and made everyone’s dicks grow without ever telling you what that something is. Luckily someone at Cage Potato actually made it to the end:

For those of you unaware, “The Secret” is a completely ridiculous New Age-type philosophy that encourages people to change physical reality through the sheer force of thought. It is, in other words, alchemy for the modern idiot.

I like Rampage. But someone should tell him giant scary black guys who beat people up for a living don’t need positive thinking to get what they want. Seriously man, just holler.

Around The Web