Darren Aronofsky drops out of Wolverine, chance of sucking now at 96%

After the last Wolverine movie, the idea that Darren Aronofsky would be directing the follow-up was the only reason anyone had any interest in it.  Today, Fox issued a statement saying Aronofsky had left the project, effectively killing anyone’s hopes for it, and certainly squashing any possibility of it having some lipstick lesbo scissor action. (*sadly pours 40 out on copy of Jugs magazine*)

In a statement issued by the studio, Aronofsky said, “It became clear that the production of The Wolverine would keep me out of the country for almost a year. I was not comfortable being away from my family for that length of time.” (The film was reportedly going to be set in Japan.) “I am sad that I won’t be able to see the project through,” continued Aronofsky, “as it is a terrific script [by Chris McQuarrie] and I was very much looking forward to working with my friend, Hugh Jackman, again.” [EW]

Translation: “I was totally down to make a few million for slapping my name on your dumb sequel, but not if it means spending a year in a radioactive f*ckpillow swamp.”

Somewhere, Brett Ratner stares at his phone, thoughtfully eating a hot pocket.