Senior Editor
08.12.09 33 Comments

(“Uh, I’m here for the gangbang?”)

Despite the fact that this sounds like a pitch for an SNL sketch (in the vein of Patton Oswalt’s “Midnight in the Olive Garden of Good and Evil”) David Mamet really is writing a screen version of The Diary of Anne Frank.

The film will be an amalgamation of the famed diary; the stage adaptation by Albert Hackett and Frances Goodrich; and Mamet’s own original take on the material that could reframe the story as a young girl’s rite of passage. Frank, who died at 15 in the Bergen-Belsen concentration camp, became an icon of the Holocaust after the post-war publication of the diary that she kept during the two years that her family hid in a secret attic apartment in Amsterdam. [Variety]

Yes! That’s what The Diary of Anne Frank was always missing: witty, fast-paced dialog!

Say Anne, whaddya think about keepin a diary?

Keepin’ a diary?

That’s right, a diary.  A book where ya put ya thoughts, ya dreams… ya philosophizin’.

I know what a diary is, ya wiseguy.  Why should I keep a diary?  Why I ain’t nothin but a little Jewish girl, hidin’ out, tryin’ ta keep away from da Nazis.  Ooh I hate dem big, ugly goodfanuttin Nazis!

Sure, but like I said, it’s a place where you put your hopes, ya dreams.

I just tole ya, my dream’s ta keep away from da Nazis, what I need a book for?

…Okay, I admit, my David Mamet parody might’ve gotten infected with The Three Stooges.  It happens. Still, I’m excited for this.  Almost as excited as I am for Joss Whedon’s All Quiet on the Western Front, Aaron Sorkin’s Les Miserables, Sam Mendes’ Transformers 3.  Or the George Romero remake of State & Main, State & Main & Zombies.  (it’s a metaphor).

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