09.23.09 9 years ago 21 Comments

(Dear Penthouse Forum…)

Looks like everyones favorite birth name is back in the news today (relax dude, it’s not you). Diablo Cody has signed on (presumably in the brightest sparkle crayon she could find) to write/produce a theatrical version of the popular book series Sweet Valley High, per Variety. You may recall the Sweet Valley High series as “those rectangles I use to keep my coke table level”, but they’re actually books. And they open up to reveal knowledge…about twins!!! *chugs beer as lightning bolt transforms landlord into bikini model*

Diablo Cody’s heading back to high school, signing on to write and produce an adaptation of the “Sweet Valley High” book series for Universal. Mason Novick, Adam Siegel and Marc Platt are also producing.

Wait a minute, that doesn’t sound so bad after all. I mean, I was anticipating something a lot worse. I guess all there is to do now is to learn more about these Sweet Valley High books:

The “Sweet Valley” novels followed the lives of identical twins with dissimilar personalities — the sensitive and practical Elizabeth and the flighty and boy-crazy Jessica — in the fictional town of Sweet Valley. There were more than 150 books in the series between 1983 and 2003 and a TV series with 88 episodes between 1994 and 1997.

Oh…sh-t. My bad. That does sound like it is going to suck, really bad actually. The good news in all of this? I can assure you that Diablo Cody will never again adapt a book series with more titles that sound like possible Dateline NBC episodes.


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