Given that Sylvester Stallone’s The Expendables is already set to star Sly, Jet Li, and Jason Fock’n Statham, you might rightly wonder how it could possibly get more awesome. Well bend over, Abigail May, because the cast may include DOLPH LUNDGREN. Said Stallone at the Transporter 3 premiere:
INTERVIEWER: The Expendables, are you looking forward to that?
STALLONE: I’m so looking forward to that. I think we’re getting close to putting Dolph Lundgren in it – it’ll be like a homecoming of tough guys.
And you know what happens at tough guy homecoming, right? They get lit on punch, run a train on the homecoming queen, and murder an entire platoon of enemy brown people – ONE BY ONE, with knives and piano wire and punches to the face. And then they blow up the whole goddamn school, just to show that weaselly poindexter of a principal that wars ain’t won with classrooms, or books, or wearing shirts. They’re won by MEN with GUNS, and KARATE!
*throws a baby into traffic, dives off overpass, speeds away on roof of passing semi*