FlipBoard
Here’s Ebert testing out his computer voice in an Oprah segment. If they did this for Oprah, they’d need two programs. One regular one, and one for when she talks black. |Videogum|
Best Worst Movie, a documentary about the cult popularity of Troll 2, is getting a theatrical release courtesy of the distributor behind Anvil. I’d like to see Snooki maintain this kind of popularity after 20 years. |FilmSchoolRejects|
OH MY GOD IT’S A NEW PICTURE FROM TRON, HOLD MY MAN PURSE WHILE MY BUTTHOLE PROLAPSES! |SlashFilm|
Nicole Kidman is attached to The Wedding Doctor. “Kidman would play a relationship analyst who advises couples on their interpersonal dynamics before they marry. But after she meets her latest clients, the doc decides she’d actually be a better match for the groom-to-be, triggering a showdown with his fiancée.” Sounds like she’ll be channeling Nia Vardalos in her last movie. Hey, she’s got the neck veins for it. |Vulture|
Hyundai can’t run the commercials for which they’d bought spots during the Oscars, because Jeff Bridges does the voiceover and he’s also a nominee, which is against Academy rules. The Chinamen are not the issue here, dude. Also, Dude, Chinamen is not the preferred nomenclature. Hyundai is Korean. |AdAge|
Zach Galifianakis Interview Excerpt — Lupe Fiasco recently used your name in a rap lyric about his own greatness. How do you feel about that? I heard that. I haven’t heard the song. I will be happy when Dolly Parton uses me in a song, then I’ve made it. There are a lot of rap guys out there. He said he was the “black rap Zach Galifianakis.” He should have said his name was Black Galifianakis. That would have been a better song. —- I would gay marry you so hard, Chad Farthouse. |NYMag|
Russell Brand is set to star in a remake of Dudley Moore’s Arthur. I didn’t see that, but given it starred Dudley Moore and Russell Brand, I’m guessing it didn’t involve pulling a sword out of a rock. |THR|
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there we go
Hey Ebert, I was just as shocked as you when I found out you were married to that woman
I’m not gonna lie, I think Russell Brand as Arthur would be perfect.
I’m surprised that the words “Troll” and “Snooki” appeared in the same paragraph and they have nothing to do with each other
This is the Peak Hour Express to Hell. There will be a $5 surcharge for purchasing your tickets on board, and a $2 up charge for non-peak hour tickets. Please have your tickets out for the conductor.
Fuck, they actually do have to do with each other. I didn’t sleep much last night
*starts making a Blacktion! account*
I call bullshit, he was playing WordTwist and flirting with married girls on FaceBook the whole time.
If they did this for Oprah, they’d need two programs. One regular one, and one for when she talks black.
Can’t they just take the regular one and add autotune? That’s close enough, right?
Nicole Kidman recently fired her agent, opting instead to throw darts at J-Lo’s IMDB page.
Steve Jobs rigged Ebert’s laptop so he couldn’t type his favorite phrase at this point…”Please kill me.”
Is it just me or does Oprah look different in that video?
Black Galifianakis says he does stand up comedy, but really he just sells weed behind The Improv
Ebert has said that he now has a greater appreciation for the film Jaws.
Somebody with audio skillz needs to Autotune Ebert.
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!
They all look the same to me, Jack!
Black Galifianakis took down the house at a Vegas casino playing Spades.
They said he would never be able to talk again but Ebert took it on the chin and…yeah he’ll never be able to talk again
Just wait until Ebert finds the easter egg in that voice program: the first time he types “nin” he’s gonna hear himself singing “Head Like a Hole”.
Steven Hawking – “HolyfuckingshitdudeYOUmusthaveLOSTabetWITHGod.”
This is the Peak Hour Express to Hell. There will be a $5 surcharge for purchasing your tickets on board, and a $2 up charge for non-peak hour tickets. Please have your tickets out for the conductor.
“Please refrain from smoking until we have reached our final destination… then I fucking dare you not to.”
Ebert looks like he’s getting ready to give the most uncomfortable blowjob ever.
In a move rich with irony, Hyndai is going to run the commercials with the voice-overs redubbed by Mickey Rourke.
I bet on a windy day Ebert makes noises like a Coke bottle.
I’m actually pretty used to seeing that facial expression peeking out from behind a Macbook.
As Ebert describes it, his new voice is “jaw-dropping”.
AAAAAAAAAAAND I’m going to hell.
Really? Black Galifianakis has no legs in here?
You know how to whistle don’t ya? Just put your lips together and… oh… sorry.
“Hyundai can’t run the commercials for which they’d bought spots during the Oscars, because Jeff Bridges does the voiceover and he’s also a nominee”
This is a slightly less conflict of interest than when Hyundai ran commercials during the Westminster Dog Show.
*Donk walks into apartment. Roger Ebert is sitting there, mouth wide agape, but with anger in his eyes*
Donk: Oh, hey roomie; whatchu up to?
Ebert: *Glares angrily*
Donk: What’s the matter, pal? Cat got your tongue?
*Ebert grabs a dry-erase board and marker, starts writing*
YOU’RE AN ASSHOLE!
Donk: Now, that’s not very nice.
WHERE IS IT?
Donk: Where’s what?
*Ebert points back at dry erase board, slamming the marker hard into the dot on the question mark, smearing it. His eyes are filled with anger*
Donk: C’mon, spit it out, Ebie. Find your voice
*This makes Ebert apoplectic with rage. he furiuosly erases and writes another note.
I CAN’T, YOU DICK. SOMEBODY CHANGED THE NAMES OF ALL MY PROGRAMS TO “GAY ELF SEX”
Roger Ebert taught the E*Trade Baby how to make his surprised face.
I like how the video title is shown as “Ebert gets his”. Seems like he already got it.
“Russell Brand is set to star in a remake of Dudley Moore’s Arthur.”
Dudley Moore’s alcohol soaked corpse might start a fire with all the spinning its doing right now.
When you want Ebert to be quiet, you can just tell him to shut his Apple pie hole!
Maybe its me but when I look at Ebert I keep thinking of Audrey II from Little Shop of Horrors.
When you want Ebert to be quiet you just hide the battery and ac adapter.
Ebert hates how the grandkids are always lobbing peas into his gape.
I wonder if there’s a little red button on that computer that when pushed, plays ‘Take Me To The River’.
Ebert’s fingers are forging checks for his mouth that his body can’t cash.
What hurt Ebert the most was losing his spot as the jug player in the bluegrass band.
I think this whole thing is just an elaborate cover-up so people won’t know that the video from The Ring is real and Ebert has seen it.
Lupe Fiasco sounds like crazy werewolf party.
Ebert uses an iMac to talk, an iPod to listen, and an iPad to shit on
SmokeEm, wouldn’t that be Lupus?
IT’S NEVER LUPUS!!
Black Galifianakis signed on for “G-Force” thinking it was the inspiring story of the first army platoon made up of inner city black men.
He should sell ad space in there.
Mouth was always Ebert’s favorite Goonie.
GROUPER BUKAKKE!!
Now Ebert’s stuck dressing up as a basking shark every halloween.
That’s a chin that not even a goatee can help.