FlipBoard
Baz Luhrmann is the guy who directed Moulin Rouge and that Romeo and Juliet movie set in a Miami-ish gangster universe where the bad guys all wore Hawaiian shirts and called their guns “swords” (I actually kind of liked that one), so it should come as no surprise that his version of The Great Gatsby looks approximately like a disco ball f*cked a rainstick. And from shininess and sacrilege and pointless affluence it’s not a big leap to get to Fergie, who, along with Q-Tip and Goonrock (note: I have no idea what these words mean), recorded a song called “A Little Party Never Killed Nobody” for the soundtrack. Apt, no? And do you sense a note of Fitzgeraldian foreshadowing in that double negative, or was it accidental? If Zelda Fitzgerald was alive today, she’d probably be peeing her pants at Black Eyed Peas concerts.
The Great Gatsby liked partyin’, Fergie writes songs about partyin’ – it makes total sense. And my, what a perfect mash-up of club music, dub-steppy wub-wubbing, and trashy pop it is. Because Nick Carraway was into that whole Yale thing. He was probably a closet homosexual who did a lot of cocaine, that whole Yale thing. Actually, I think the AV Club put it best:
“Anyway, hey, here’s Fergie’s swing-flavored hip-hop song about partying, from the soundtrack of a 3-D movie about American opulence. It has scatting.”
This movie is going to be the non-tongue-in-cheek Spring Breakers.
![[avatar]](https://profilecdn-woven.netdna-ssl.com/photo/257/profile)
Q-Tip is from A Tribe Called Quest, plebe.
Oh right, sorry.
When I hear ‘It has scatting’, I picture Fergie flinging shit all over the recording studio.
you weren’t exactly wrong
I thought that was just her standard artistic process.
Fergie looks like she smells like a bag full of dirty diapers that were used by overweight geriatrics.
So we beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the BOOM BOOM, POW, THESE CHICKEN’S JACKIN’ MY STYLE.
Damn, Zelda is a real name? I always thought it was made up fiction name like Slyvanas, Barberella, or Tiffany.
I just want to see the car-pedestrian crash in 3D. I’m really more excited for the Rifftrax of this movie.
It’s teased in the trailer. It’s all hyper-real super slo-mo. Sh*t it probably freezes during the impact and does a bullet-time 360 that stops behind the mistress, and then time speeds back up and she 3D’s right into your face.
*sploosh*
perfectly in-sync with the dubstep robot fart noises!
I have to say, it’s pretty admirable how you empty brained west coasters are just carrying on with stupid celebrity news and movies reviews/quips like nothing is going on.
Yeah, and you’re reading it, cunt. Shall I do a round-up of celebrity condolence Tweets? As a humorous movie blogger, I don’t have much to contribute to a story of real-life tragedy on the other side of the country, so I let those more qualified handle it. Like maybe you should do with commenting.
But thanks for serving us this nice slice of extraneous assholism.
I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again – Underball is the WORST.
Well – here’s the thing. I actually live in Boston. Have my whole life. In fact – the family of the 8 year old boy who was killed are my parent’s neighbors. I know the family. So maybe I’m a bit extra sensitive about it. Or maybe I just expected some kind, ANY kind of note about what happened. Every other website I look at, serious or not, has at least acknowledged it – and you know what? In a weird, probably shallow kind of way – IT IS a little bit comforting.
Oh well. Maybe I shouldn’t have metioned anything, and just let you carry on in your vacuous moronic outpouring of derp about Michael Bay and Tyler Perry, etc.
But I’ve said it now.
My condolences Underball. Not for the bombing, but for having to live in Boston.
Yeah, clearly you are a bit sensitive about it. You really want me to write some shit about something I know nothing about? I was trying to be respectful by letting those closer to the tragedy tell their own stories, rather than making it about me by saying something less eloquent than what Patton Oswalt already said and was already covered in full on Uproxx. I don’t know what you were expecting. But again, thanks for coming in here and insulting everyone like a total piece of shit.
Sometimes it takes a tragedy to remind us all what an asshole you are.
Are you seriously using an extremely tenuous connection to a murdered 8-year-old to prove a point in the comments section of a movie blog? What a fucking weird asshole you are.
Also, just to clarify, if you look at the time stamps, yesterday’s last post was around the time news of attack hit, and I took the rest of the day off because I assumed people would be rightly tuned to alternate news sources. I wasn’t going to use it as an opportunity for pageviews or SEO. So, sorry, your shitty Tyler Perry insult doesn’t fit the facts.
Dude, bombs and guns and jihadists go off, every day, in all corners of this madhouse we call a planet. If we stopped laughing every time someone died tragically, there’d be no point to living. Terrible shit happens. All the time.
It didn’t happen to you today. Kiss your Sammy Sosa peace-sign fingers and hold them high, and then be grateful you still get to shop at Walmart and be in debt. Carry on.
Vince, you’re horrible. You Westies continue to live up your own assholes instead of covering the tragedy of the fackin’ SAWX HAVING TO CANCEL THE OPEN HOUSE VISITATION AT FENWAY PAHK ON WEDNESDAY!
JohnMWood nailed it. In case people on the East Coast have forgotten, we’ve been at war for something like 12 years with Americans being killed or wounded nearly every day. Even the real news rarely covers it. I come here to get away from that kind of shit. It’s not like you can’t turn on the TV and see non-stop coverage of the tragedy in Boston.
I went to school on 9/11. One of my teachers said that what happened was terrible but there wasn’t anything we could do about it so we had to go on with the lessons. Sitting around feeling like shit wouldn’t have changed a damn thing except extending the school calender by a few days.
So the guy who comes here to shit all over everyone on a near daily basis and, in fact, just classified an entire regional demographic as “empty brained” in this very post is upset because people aren’t more concerned about his feelings? You, sir, are shoes made of the finest clown.
I bet that right now Josh Duhamel is standing on the edge of a pier, staring out across the water, wearing water wings and a confused expression.
I still don’t get what everyone has against this movie – I think it looks good!
Why do I think that in the first version of this script everything was steampunk?
Would watch
Ugh.
I have no doubt in my mind that this movie will be aesthetically pleasing. Shit, it might even be a good movie. But everything about how this movie is being marketed to my generation is forcing me to believe that we’re gonna blow it up into something it’s not; all because it takes us back to high school lit class.
I feel like I’m gonna need “I get it, we read it in high school.” tatted on my forehead after this movie comes out. /rant.
Very Jordan Baker. She’s my favorite character anyhow.
Here’s the real tragedy. They’re totally f*cking up what the movie should be about. They’re making some bullsh*t retread “star-crossed lovers in a glamourous world” story and slapping “The Great Gatsby” on it.
The book is about obsession, greed, emotional bankruptcy, man’s inhumanity to man, and a world that seems to glorify and reward this, or at least is indifferent.
I fear the movie will be closer to “To Justin from Kelly” than it is to “The Great Gatsby”. And that sucks b*lls.
Meh. No movie or stage adaptation will ever be the book, nor does it need to be. If you want the book, go read it. It’ll take you a Sunday. Hollywood crassly cashing in on a book’s name is as old as the movies themselves.
Only good books can be turned into great movies. I don’t believe the inverse is possible.
But how awesome would it have been if they turned “One For the Money” into a best picture contender? Hilarious.
Ha, so true.
In a perfect world Gatsby forgoes his obsession with Daisy and pursues ice cream eating Vince Vaughn. He promises him unlimited ice cream and they live happily ever after. Daisy gets cancer.
I got a feelin’ Gatsby’s gonna be a crapfest. Woooo hooooo!