FIFA’s Vanity Project, ‘United Passions,’ Is The Lowest-Grossing Film Of All-Time

I’ll be honest, I didn’t know much about United Passions before today, and that seems to be a common theme. FIFA’s $30 million, self-funded puff piece starring Tim Roth as Sepp Blatter, the former FIFA head who resigned in disgrace at the beginning of the month, depicts Blatter as a heroic corruption fighter and ends with Blatter being reelected to a standing ovation as the music swells.”

Talk about timing! And as if Americans needed help caring less about soccer. In any case, United Passions is now the lowest-grossing film to have opened in at least 10 theaters, having failed to break four figures ($918) before being pulled by its distributor, Screen Media Films. As far as Europe trying to get rid of its junk, they could’ve made more selling a used Vespa.

With a final weekend return of just $918 from 10 cinemas, Frederic Auburtin’s £17m [$30 million] drama – Fifa paid most of the costs – lines up ahead of such titans of modern cinema as 2012 vampire rock musical I Kissed a Vampire ($1,380) and 2013 animated adventure Last Flight of the Champion ($1,493). [TheGuardian]

How bad was it? The director, Frederic Aubertin said of it, “Now I’m seen as bad as the guy who brought AIDS to Africa or the guy who caused the financial crisis.”

The lead actor, Tim Roth, admits he did it “to get out of a financial hole” and said the role “would have my father turning in his grave.”

How bad was it? Gerard Depardieu is in it. (Also, Sam Neill – criminally underrated actor, imo – plays a Brazilian).

In any case, I’m sure it’ll find its audience on DVD. FIFA just has to spread money around in the right places. Honestly though, this looks amazing: