Senior Editor
10.18.07 112 Comments

The Wrestler, of which I brought you the news would star Nic Cage last week, will be directed by Darren Aronofsky. Awesome, now matches will consist of: 1. Closeup of Nic Cage’s eyeball.  2. Closeup of wrestling trunks. A hand enters from off camera and pulls trunks out of frame. 3. Closeup of ring ropes as they stretch when wrestler enters.  Sound of bell.  4.  Sound of crowd cheering.  Closeup of Nic Cage face down on mat. [Comingsoon]

Hellboy 2 has a website. And it actually has cool stuff on it, like concept art and a blog.  Meawhile, there’s another 1-18-08 viral marketing site where JJ Abrams sings "Eye of the Tiger" in Esperanto.

Indiana Jones passed through Fresno to film a few scenes.  Here’s some video of it. Like many things that happen in my hometown, it is riveting. Add this to the list of things we’re known for behind spawning Kevin Federline and an illiterate guy who wants to bone Freckletits.  Fres-yes!  God help us. [RopeofSilicon]

Star Trek found a "Bones" in Kiwii Karl Urban, rounding out a cast that includes Chris Pine, Zachary Quinto, John Cho, Simon Pegg, Zoe Saldana, and Anton Yelchin. I want whatever that casting director’s smoking.  Though I’d settle for not having to hear about JJ Abrams (GayGay Gaybrams) ever again. [Cinematical]

Southland Tales – speaking of someone smoking something, this crack fantasy of a movie from the director of Donnie Darko is getting pushed back a week, to November 16th. "Basically they’re saying, it can’t take on Vince Vaughn in Fred Claus but they hope it can beat an animated Beowulf and Dustin Hoffman in Mr. Magorium’s Wonder Emporium."  Jesus, people are going to see those movies?  This is why I hate people.  Especially the handicapped. [Cinema Blend]

Timecop – There’s talk of a remake. Van Dammonium continues. Watch the owner of Dark Horse Entertainment run off to bathe in Clearasil after being interviewed by IESB.

Cadillac Man – Matt Dillon will play the founder of Chess Records, Jeffrey Wright will play Muddy Waters.  Meanwhile, Kevin Dillon still plays Kevin Dillon on Entourage.   

Other stuff: A colleague of mine started a blog, The Triple Lindy, about how he hates Jesus but loves exclamation points.  Also, Payless now has a Shoe Store!  It’s not just a place to find great shoes, it’s where you can go to meet other poor people.

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