Florida Friday: A Man Was Attacked By An Alligator While Running From The Cops

The fun thing about selecting the subject of each installment of Florida Friday is that just as I’m about to start writing about one story, another story comes along and blows that out of the water. For example, there was the delightful woman who extended her well-wishes to Joakim Noah at the Miami Heat game the other night, as it was discovered that she was once accused by an Internet psychic of murdering her husband with a cocktail of cocaine and Ambien, among many other wonderful things, and then there was also a Central Florida restaurant that came under attack for serving tacos made from lion meat.

But I decided it would be more fun to both marry that woman and have lion tacos with her, so once I’ve accomplished that, I will have a follow-up post. In the meantime, let me introduce you to the subject of this week’s Florida Friday – 20-year old Brian Zuniga, who was pulled over at a traffic stop yesterday morning after cops spotted him swerving. Naturally, because it’s Florida, he ditched his car and ran. Then, because it’s Florida, he was attacked by an alligator.

Deputies say Zuniga stopped the vehicle and jumped out of the passenger door. He then broke through a vinyl fence and escaped.

The Tampa Bay area man was found at a local hospital a few hours later. He was being treated for multiple puncture wounds to the face, arm and armpit area. He told deputies he had been attacked by an alligator near a water treatment plant. (Via CBS Tampa)

To add to the new holes in his body, Zuniga, who may or may not be related to Daphne, was charged with resisting arrest, fleeing police and driving with a suspended or revoked license. Hopefully, this will lead to Fox picking up my new police drama, Gator Cops.