Senior Editor
07.15.09 51 Comments

In case you haven’t noticed, I’ve started a new FilmDrunk segment. It’s called Forgotten Classics, and in it, I call your attention to older, awesomer movies you may have missed.  I figure it’s a great way to keep from killing myself because I have to report another movie based on a kids’ toy, or Bridget Jones Diary 3.  Oh yeah, they’re making that, hadn’t you heard?  Who cares.

Anyway, today’s Forgotten Classic is 1977’s Deathbed: The Bed That Eats. (It may not technically be “forgotten,” because Patton Oswalt mentions it in a famous bit which I’ve included below).  Things to look for in the Deathbed clip:

  • 0:20 This guy wins the Oscar in mustache growing
  • 1:30 The bed (I guess they’re sitting on a bed?) digests the guy with the gun – as represented by an arm coming out of some orangish foam.  At which point the other guy takes his gun in order to defend himself against the bed. TO NO AVAIL.
  • 1:38 The line “Oh, I’m being eaten alive,” delivered in a manner one might normally reserve for, “Oh, I found a penny on the ground.”
  • 1:46 Dead men don’t smoke cigars!  …OR DO THEY?
  • 2:15 Bed eats a red flower – SYMBOLISM!  (maybe?)

Boy, they just don’t make ’em like this anymore.  Thank God.

The Patton clip comes from this album, which I highly, highly recommend (please don’t pull the clip, lawyery types). Only Patton could start with Deathbed and eventually get to “50 d*cks in his ass like the tail of a peacock.” My hero.

Around The Web