Senior Editor
09.18.09 36 Comments

Todays Friday Free for All video comes from the always awesome folks over at everythingisterrible (via a tip from Russell).  This time they’ve unearthed an invaluable self-help video from the 80s that will teach you ladies how to land that schlub we all know you’re desperate to settle for.  Step one is wearing a dress with huge shoulder pads, apparently.  Other highlights:

– “Mmm, attractive woman.  Just my type.  …But she sure looks like a bitch.  Hrm, I don’t need that.”

– “Research shows 40% of men suffer from shyness.”

– “I suggest you let him know that it really turns you on when a man talks about his feelings.”

– “Is there any good news today?”  “Not really.” “I guess I don’t need this then!” *puts down paper* “You know, somebody oughta come out with a paper that only has good news in it.”  “You know, that’s a terrific idea, I would be the first person to buy it.”  “Maybe we could start up a subscription race!”

Oh, sure, self-help video, you make it look so easy!  As if there would really be such a brilliant conversationalist on my block!   (see part two of Friday Free for All after the jump)

This one really needs no introduction.  If you can get through more than 10 seconds of the music, I promise it’s worth it for the comedic value.  Says Tom OC: DONT FORGET TO COP THE ALBUM This video is an ode to my hero. RIP 2pac

Of course it is. FilmDrunkard Mike also points out that one of the lines in the song is “Girl, you’re the one I’m missin’/come here to me, Chicken.” I think the implication is clear. What he means to say is: Keep f’ckin that chicken.

[second video via Videogum]

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