Check out the Fast & Furious-Inspired Clothing Line, ‘G,’ by Guess

Senior Editor
04.19.13 11 Comments

Fast and Furious is a gloriously dumb movie franchise that has become incredibly successful selling the dream that anything – fame, fortune, gold necklaces, women, well-moisturized arms – can be yours, as long as you put enough aftermarket body work into your Honda Civic. But what if you don’t have a Honda Civic? What if you only enough for a necklace, an overpriced v-neck, and a bus pass? Fear not, because now you can still pretend to live that stupid dream thanks to Guess, and their clothing line, G. Yes, the Fast & Furious clothing line is called “G.” TO THE PRESS RELEASE! (*drops hand holding flag*)

Utilizing moto racing details, gritty prints and destroyed styles, meeting at the intersection of body conscious and bold designs, this 15-piece capsule captures the spirit of both G by GUESS and the Fast & Furious films — young, bold and sexy. The capsule consists of jackets, graphic print T’s and tanks for men, as well as printed tank tops, a studded moto jacket and a tank dress for women. Accessories such as modern aviator sunglasses, a men’s watch and a signature embellished cap complete this collection of accelerated style. [WallStreetJournal]

Damn, that was kind of a letdown compared to what I was expecting for a press release for a Fast and Furious clothing line. That’s the kind of thing copywriters live for. I LIVE MY V-NECKS A QUARTER TUCK AT A TIME.
“Ayo,  hold this chain and stand on a tire. Ayo, and you, stick your ass out and stand next to that car.”
No way that hat fits inside your souped-up tiny street racing car. But maybe there’s a hat rack in there next to the NOS. I like the girl’s glasses though. Ayo, she put the “ass” in Jackie Onassis, yo.
“It’s warm in here next to this engine. It’s so warm my hoodies don’t need sleeves.”
Be thoughtful, like Vin Diesel when he’s writing poetry.
Jesus is my NOS. (*blasts Creed song*)
They give the girl sleeves because she’s always leaning on the hoods of hot cars. Don’t wanna burn a forearm.
(*pulls Dustin Hoffman aside at dinner party*) “One word, kid: holes.”
You see, it’s a jean jacket, but it’s also a hoodie. It’s a combination jean jacket/hoodie. Taking off your hoodie and your jean jacket separately is for bustas, yo. You’ll never have to do that again with G by Guess.
He was an aspiring rap star bad boy. She was a rich girl who liked to put her butt on warm stuff.
That hat is cracking me up. “I live my life three accessories at a time.”
Oh come on, they’re just grasping at straws now. I understand the girl not having an identity. This is at its core a homoerotic franchise where girls aren’t allowed. It’s all greasy gear shifts and stomped-on throttles.
These crosses? A tribute to fashion Jesus.
So is this guy Bow Wow or what? I don’t follow this stuff.

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