George Clooney Is Getting Married At Downton Abbey

The world’s most famous aging bachelor is famously getting married soon, to the famously high-powered famous lawyer lady with the Johnny Quest supervillain name, Amal Alamuddin. And of course they can’t just hold the ceremony in a cow pasture and have people catch a greased up pig for the reception, these are famous Hollywood royalty. So naturally, they’ll be taking vows at entertainment’s most famous contemporary castle, the one from Downton Abbey. Also known as “Highclere Castle” to the powdered wig crowd. (*paints face, applies fashionable mole*)

‘George became close friends with Hugh Bonneville, who plays Lord Robert Crawley, when they did Monuments Men together last year,’ says a source.

‘And they really hit it off. He contacted Hugh and asked him to arrange a private tour of the castle. Amal was blown away.

‘When he saw his bride-to-be’s reaction to the spectacular Victorian castle, set on 1,000 acres of parkland, he began making some discrete inquires about having their wedding performed there.

And he was told they would be most happy to accommodate them!’ [DailyMail]

Jesus, not even the Daily Mail knows the difference between “discreet” and “discrete.”

Highclere has been the residence of the Carnarvon family since 1679. And it’s currently inhabited by the 8th Lord and Lady Carnarvon and their family. The castle does allow weddings, and prices to hire parts of the castle alone, begin at about $23,000 for one night. [DailyMail]

That, and of course Mr. Clooney will have to grant Lord Carnarvon the right of Prima Nocta, to christen the union with his own aristocratic penis, as is English tradition. I think that’s the way it works. Anyway, I hope they invite the chicken lady.

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